Season X: Boys Will Be Boys
by NMI123
Summary: Steve contemplates a big career move while trying to seem like just one of the guys at Carl and Eddie's poker game. Laura tries to protect her husband from the feeling of rejection he knows all too well. Max and Eddie talk about their future. (TO BE PUBLISHED IN FIVEISH CHAPTERS)
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I haven't completely finished fine tuning this episode yet, but I wanted to get you all a Season X update, so this episode will be published in a few separate chapters, so favorite and follow this story so you don't miss the rest of the episode. If it gets you content faster, I may keep publishing that way. Hope it was worth the wait. New chapter soon!**

"Are you really gonna tell them today?" Laura asked as she handed Steve his lunch.

Steve paused to straighten his tie before taking it. "They have a right to know that I'm considering another offer, Sweetums."

"I know, but what if you don't take it, and they get mad anyway? You could ruin what you have there, and it's finally getting good!"

"I know. It's a risk, but Wes and Andy have been good to me. I want to at least give them some notice."

"Ok," she agreed. "It's your decision."

He paused in front of the door. "Do you think I should take it?"

Laura cocked her head at him as she fixed his tie. He had only made it worse. "I just want you to be happy. You know that." She stepped close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He grabbed her hips and leaned his face down to hers. "Think about all the things I could buy you with double my salary. Clothes, makeup..."

"Stop," she warned.

"Shoes..."

"Mm," she pouted.

"Jewelry..."

"You are a mean, mean man," she scolded.

"For wanting to spoil you?"

"For teasing me," she complained.

"I'm not teasing, my pet. Tell me right now to take it and buy you a jewelry store, and I'll do it," he promised.

She pulled out of his arms. "I'm not gonna do that, Steve. This is your choice," she stated again. "Pick the job that's going to make you happiest."

He nodded. "Ok," he agreed. He stared at her silently for a minute. Then he suddenly collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around her legs. "Tell me what you want me to do, my queen. Please, please, please, please, please!" He begged.

Laura chuckled and tried to pull away from him. "No, Steve. It's up to you, and we're gonna be late for work."

Steve held on tighter. "Please!" He begged. "If you tell me, I'll do whatever you want me to do in the bedroom tonight!" he offered.

Laura furrowed her brow and smirked down at him. "You already do whatever I want you to in bed," she reminded him.

He let go of her legs and stood. "Darn!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers in frustration.

Laura smiled sympathetically and stepped back into his arms. "I love you, Steve. You're going to make the right decision, but you have to make it yourself," she insisted.

He nodded seriously and took a deep breath. He sighed loudly as he released it. "You're right. I know you're right," he agreed, holding both her hands.

"I'll tell you what," she continued, "when you make a decision to stay or go and you tell Waterton, when everything's really decided, you know? When that happens, I will do whatever you want me to do in the bedroom," she offered.

Steve grinned goofily and wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Whatever I want?" He challenged.

"Whatever you want," she purred.

"Like watch a documentary about stink bugs?" he offered excitedly.

Laura's jaw dropped. "What?" She demanded.

"Play my new electrified version of 'Chutes and Ladders'?"

Laura laughed and grabbed her purse off the counter.

He followed her as she headed for the door. "Let me eat cheese off of you?" he called as he closed and locked the door behind them.

Laura shrugged. At least, that one was almost sexy.

When Steve got to work, he headed immediately for Wes's office. He stood in front of the door, preparing himself to knock, but he couldn't get up the courage. Luckily, his secretary had stepped out to pick up his dry cleaning, so there was no one there to see Steve pacing back and forth, talking to himself, almost knocking, and chickening out again and again.

"Hey, Wes," Steve muttered to himself under his breath, "I'm just stopping by to let you know that even though you single-handedly saved my wife and me from spending the rest of our lives on her brother's couch, I'm considering other offers. Now, don't worry! I haven't made any decisions yet! Oh, no. I plan to leave you hanging for at least another week, not knowing if you need to start the hunt for a new protégé or not. Where am I going, you ask? Only to your biggest competitor. Waterton Tech offered me double my salary, and -"

"You're taking a job with Gary Waterton?" Andy asked from behind him.

Steve jumped and turned back to Andy. "How long have you been there?"

Andy's face soured quickly, but he remained calm, as he always did. He marched forward and knocked on Wes's door.

"Come in!" Wes called.

Andy opened the door and turned to Steve. "Inside," he ordered. "Now."

Steve nodded and walked in, his head hung low, and he twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"Steve!" Wes smiled as he and Andy walked in. "What a pleasant surprise!" Quickly, he noticed the expressions on their faces. "Or not so pleasant. What's going on?"

Andy crossed his arms over his chest and nudged Steve with his elbow. "Tell him, Judas."

Steve swallowed hard. _Judas? Yikes._ He looked down at his feet. "Well, um... Wes, I can't tell you how grateful I am for the opportunity you've given me."

"Oh, no," Wes interrupted.

Steve paused. Had he gotten to the bad part, yet? "What?"

"You're quitting!" Wes gasped. "Oh, no, Steve, you can't quit!" He stood quickly, rushing over to Steve as he implored him.

"No, he can't," Andy agreed. "He's under contract."

"I'm not quitting," Steve jumped in. "I just..." he paused and took a deep breath, finding the strength to continue. "I just received an offer that was too good to not at least consider. I haven't made any decisions yet. I just wanted you to know."

Andy snorted in disgust. "So you could use it as a bargaining chip? It's not gonna work, Urkel. Do you know how many young scientists are banging down our doors for your job? You're not getting anything more out of us!"

"That's not why I'm telling you," Steve promised urgently.

"Shut up, Andy!" Wes barked. "Steve, you're the guy! We will give you anything you want! Who made the offer?"

"Waterton Tech," Steve replied softly. He cringed as he saw the hurt flash in Wes's eyes.

"Oh," he said softly.

"Did you send him a copy of your contract yet?" Andy demanded.

"Yes," Steve admitted softly.

"Damn it! Ok. I'm sending a copy down to legal," he announced, heading toward the door.

"Mr. Ward, wait!" Steve pleaded, though he was ignored. When Steve turned back to Wes, he was leaning against his desk. "I haven't made a decision yet," Steve said softly.

Wes nodded sadly. "What's he offering you?"

"Double my current salary," Steve said.

Wes's face drooped lower. "We can't afford to match that, Steve. Andy'd never go for it."

"That's not why I'm telling you!" he reinforced quickly. "I just thought that you had a right to know."

"We can sweeten the deal here, though, Steve."

"You don't have to," he tried.

"I'm sure I can dig a little raise out of Andy, and we can find some projects that really inspire you," he promised. "Just give me some time to put together an offer. When are you making your decision?" he asked.

"Monday."

"He only gave you a week to decide?" Wes asked. Steve remained silent. "Oh. You've just been sitting on this for a while. When did he make the offer?"

"The day after the 4th of July," Steve answered.

"Ok," Wes sighed. "Well, give me as much time as you can to work on this. I'll figure something out, Steve. I'm not losing you."

"Wes, I wouldn't even be considering this if it weren't for Laura."

"Does she want you to take it?" Wes asked disappointedly, knowing he could never convince Steve to ignore Laura's wishes.

"No, she wants me to do whatever will make me happiest, but what makes me happy is making her happy, and I could make her really happy with that kind of money."

Wes nodded. "But money isn't all that matters to Laura," he reminded him.

"No, but it wouldn't hurt."

"No, but you being miserable could," Wes grumbled.

Steve furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

Wes pursed his lips. "Nothing. Never mind."

"No, really, what do you mean?"

Wes took a deep breath and admitted, "Look, Steve, you're not gonna buy this coming from me, but Gary Waterton is a jerk. He treats his employees terribly. He's luring you away from us now, so you'll get a good deal, but when you renew your contract, you won't, and his contracts are way better than ours. His have no loopholes, and they always include those clauses that say you can't work for the competition for a certain amount of time after. Ours don't say that because I want young scientists to be able to advance their careers, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about his people, and if you go, we can't take you back. Andy would never allow it, first of all, but neither would your contract with Waterton. He'd take you to the cleaners for even trying."

Steve stared at him nervously. He knew that he shouldn't trust Wes, because Wes had reason to want him to avoid Waterton, but Wes had been good to him, and the fact was, he did trust him.

"Look, Steve," Wes continued as he saw the expression on his face. "You shouldn't even worry about Waterton because I am going to find a way to get you to stay," he promised, forcing his bright, businessman smile. "I guarantee it." He paused there, waiting for Steve to respond, but when he didn't, he added quietly, "Which means you need to leave and let me get back to work."

"Oh!" Steve exclaimed. "Yes! Of course! Thank you for your time, Wes!" Steve called as he left as quickly as possible.

"Hey, Myra?" Laura called as she stepped out of her office.

Myra, who was only a few displays down, called back immediately, "Yes?"

Laura approached her. "I'm taking my lunch break out with my mom today, so I won't be here if anything goes wrong. Think you can hold down the fort?"

Myra hesitated. "Um... Well, sure, Laura, but could you make that announcement a little louder and give me some authority?"

Laura chuckled, "Oh, yeah, like I have any authority!"

Myra furrowed her brow. She had a point. "I can handle it," she dismissed.

"Thank you!" Laura called as she turned from her. As Laura walked away she glanced back, just in time to see Myra climb on a table and cup her hands around her mouth.

"Yo, Ferguson's employees, Laura's gonna be gone for the next hour, and she left me in charge, so y'all better shape up!"

Laura chuckled as she continued out the door. She was so proud of Myra. She had really committed to her therapy. She had let it slip once that she went to see her shrink twice a week, with little homework assignments in between. She seemed like she was starting to feel better, even if she wasn't quite her original, perky self yet. Myra and Laura had even been working really well together. So well, in fact, that she was beginning to think she might miss her when she went back to school. She was also finally beginning to understand what Steve had seen in Myra, which made her heart ache. She really was lucky to have won him back, even if it didn't seem difficult at the time. Getting over a girl as great as her must have been hard for him.

When Laura reached her mother at the table at the back of the restaurant, she hugged her quickly before sitting. "Hey, Ma," she said as she sat.

"Hi, Honey. How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Oh, I'm fine. What's new with you and Steve?"

Laura paused for a moment. She wasn't sure if Steve's job offer was supposed to be a secret. She decided to keep it to herself for now. Just in case. "Not much," she lied. "Anything new with you and Daddy?"

"No, not really," Harriette said. "Same old, same old. Rachel and I are going out Friday night for a little Girls' Night Out."

"You are? Why's that?"

"It's your father's turn to host the poker game, and I don't wanna sit around and watch it," Harriette shrugged.

Laura smiled. "Well, if you're not there, who's gonna clean up after?"

Harriette smirked at her. "Me, when I get back, probably."

Laura laughed and shook her head.

"Eddie's been playing for the past few months, too. Maybe you and Max should come out with me and Rachel. Is Steve any good at poker?"

Laura paused. "I don't know," she admitted. "He's certainly smart enough, but he's not a very good liar. That could be fun, though. I'll suggest it to him."

"Good," Harriette nodded. "I'll call Max."

Laura looked up from her menu. "You'll call Max?"

"Sure," Harriette shrugged, looking away. "Why not?"

Laura hesitated. "Well, I don't know. I just didn't expect you to."

"Max and I have known each other for a long time, and now that she's seeing Eddie, maybe it's time she and I get to know each other a little better."

Laura quirked an eyebrow at her. "All right," she agreed, eyeing her suspiciously.

That night, after dinner, Laura and Steve were cuddling on the couch, lost in a terrible sitcom. As a commercial came on, Laura tried to stand to grab a drink from the kitchen, but Steve pulled her down into his lap immediately. "Oh!" she cried, giggling as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "What was that for?" She asked.

"No reason. I've just missed you."

"I've been cuddled up next to you all night," she retorted.

"Not close enough," he purred, wiggling beneath her.

As Laura felt his erection below her, she smiled slyly. "You don't think I'm close enough unless you're inside me," she teased in his ear.

"Exactly," he replied, knocking her back on the couch as she laughed loudly. He leaned down and kissed her neck. He began to unbutton her blouse, savoring the fact that only he was allowed to turn her from innocent professional to sexkitten. As soon as her bra was exposed to him, he pulled away from her neck to stare down at it. Her breasts were about ready to pop out of it. He leaned down, preparing himself to bury his face in her cleavage, just as the phone rang, and she sat up. She began to button her blouse as he pawed at her. "Just ignore it, Laura," he begged.

"It'll just take a minute, Baby," she promised, reaching for the phone while Steve took the opportunity to begin enthusiastically undressing her again. "Hello?" She answered, pushing him away and standing from the couch, half of her blouse unbuttoned, her bra teasingly remaining exposed.

"Hey, Laura. It's Max."

"Oh, hey, Girl. What's up?" Laura smiled, walking further away from Steve who deflated and began to pout on the couch, realizing phone calls with Max were often the longest.

"Not much. Um. Your mom just called me."

Laura nodded knowingly. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah. She invited me to join you guys for a girls' night?"

"Yeah, I know. We talked about it at lunch today. She insisted on calling you herself. She wants to bond with you or something."

"Why?"

"Because you're dating Eddie."

"I know, but it's not like we're getting married or anything. Plus, your mom and I already get along well."

"Well, apparently my mom wants to be a little closer. Maybe Eddie said something that made her think it was really serious," Laura shrugged, grabbing a Coke from the fridge.

"You think? Like what?" Max asked nervously.

Laura opened the Coke and returned to Steve. "Oh, shoot. Did I freak you out?"

"What? No, of course not," Max lied immediately. "I'm not freaked. Why would I be freaked?"

"Max," Laura began.

"Anyway, I told her I'd go, so I guess I'll see you Friday. I gotta go, though, so see ya."

"See you Friday," Laura replied, though Max hung up, cutting her off in the middle. Laura sighed and set the phone back down.

"Everything all right?" Steve asked as he turned off the TV, surprised Laura had finished with Max so quickly.

Laura shrugged. "Yeah, my mom invited Max out with us on Friday, and it's got Max kinda freaked."

"You and your mom are going out on Friday?"

Laura nodded. "And Max and Aunt Rachel. I can't believe I forgot to tell you. You're playing poker with Dad and Eddie."

"I am?" Steve asked in surprise.

"Yeah. It's their weekly game."

"Laura, you know I'm not much of a gambler," Steve complained.

"I know, Baby, but boys' night will be fun, won't it?" Laura prompted.

Steve smiled softly. "I don't know, Pet. Hanging with the in-laws all night? Sounds kinda boring," he teased.

Laura giggled and nudged him with her elbow. "So you're in?"

"Of course, I am, Cuddle Lips."

Laura smiled at the nickname. "Good," Laura purred, "because it makes me very happy when my husband plays nice with my family."

"Oh, really?" he teased, leaning closer, eyeing her exposed bra again. "How happy exactly?"

Laura bit her lip and stood. "Happy enough to head to bed a little early tonight," she replied, walking back toward the bedroom.

"Yowza!" Steve cried, leaping from the couch and running to bed, passing a laughing Laura along the way.

The next day, Steve headed into work as jolly as ever. Sure, he was being forced to make an impossible decision, but he didn't have to worry about that today. Today, all he had to think about was science. How could his uncomfortable situation possibly interfere with that?

It didn't take him long to realize that his decision was going to be unavoidably relevant in his life until he finally made it. Wes was waiting for him in the lab when he got in.

"Steve!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Good morning, Wes," Steve said nervously.

"Good morning," he replied quickly. "Listen, I've been talking to Andy about finding some money for a raise for you, but I haven't been able to yet."

"That's ok," Steve interrupted uncomfortably. "I don't need a raise."

"But you want a raise," Wes clarified.

"No," Steve pressed. He didn't want a raise. He just wanted… "I just want to make Laura happy."

Wes nodded. "I know that's what you want, and I've been thinking about that. You know what will make Laura happy?"

"I wish I knew," Steve mused as he sat on a lab stool at the first counter. He realized that Wes was settling down for a heavy chat and leaned into it.

"More time with you," Wes replied, answering his own question. "I can't offer you more money yet, Steve, but I can offer you another full work week's paid vacation time. That puts you from ten days a year to fifteen. Your school schedule still stands. You're expected to be where your professors expect you to be, but as far as your time with us goes, we're willing to give a little up to Laura if that will help your decision at all."

Steve smiled uncomfortably. That was a very good thing, but he didn't know that it was enough. He still had no clue what he was going to do. "Thank you, Wes. I'll keep that in mind."

Wes nodded. "Please do," he said, patting Steve on the back. He looked at him with a sad smile on his face for a long moment, and then he turned and walked away. "I'll be back when I have a better offer," he promised.

When he had left, Steve stood and got back to work. He walked away from the lab stool over to a hook on the wall. He nodded at several scientists along the way. He still didn't have any friends at work, besides the owners of the company, but he was finally on decent terms with the rest of the scientists in Lab 8. He would nod at them, and they'd nod back. He could ask them to grab a chemical for him as they passed, and they could ask him to check their math. It wasn't great, but it was a lot better than it had been. It took people a long time to warm up to Steve, and he knew that changing jobs would mean starting over with a whole new crowd of disapproving, jealous faces.

With a big sigh, he put his concerns out of his mind as he slipped his lab coat on his shoulders. At least he could get lost in the work.

He was able to focus his attention on the memory enhancing drug in front of him - he still hadn't gotten that right, even with various proportions of yogurt - for a good ten minutes before he was interrupted.

"Urkel," Harold barked.

"Yes, Sir?" Steve asked, turning to face Harold and spilling half his container of yogurt on the ground.

Harold rolled his eyes. "Mr. Forman told me you may be leaving ForWard."

Steve swallowed hard. "Well, I don't really know yet. I got a very tempting offer, but I would hate to leave this company."

"Don't take it, Urkel," Harold said seriously. "Every scientist I knew who jumped ship for Waterton Tech regretted it. I know I haven't been the best boss, but they would make you so much more miserable than I ever could. I, at least, respect your mind, even if I don't always like you. They don't respect the scientific process or their scientists. Don't take it."

Steve looked down at his feet. "It's just so much more money," Steve admitted in shame.

"It's not worth it. Trust me," Harold pressed. He stood awkwardly in silence for a long moment. "Anyway, clean that up, and then go see Mr. Ward. He wants to see you in his office."

Steve nodded and got to work cleaning up his mess.

When Steve made it up to Andy's office, he checked in with his assistant and had a seat. After several long minutes, Andy opened the door for him without saying a word. Then he walked back into his office. Steve followed him in and shut the door. They weren't alone.

"Mr. Urkel, this is the head of legal department, Reginald Morgan."

The man stood and shook Steve's hand. "Reggie," he said.

"Steve," Steve replied.

"Hey, Steve," he said taking a seat.

Andy cleared his throat to pull them back to the grave meeting at hand. "Mr. Urkel, have a seat."

Steve nodded and sat in a chair beside Reggie.

"Mr. Morgan has studied your contract for me, Mr. Urkel, and we don't think it would be in your best interest to leave."

"Andy," Steve began.

"No," Andy replied, "you don't get to call me that right now."

"Andy, c'mon. I haven't made a decision," Steve pressed.

"Well, this may help you make that decision," Andy said. "Mr. Morgan?"

Reggie turned to look at Steve more directly. "Steve, you've already been informed that the damages you have caused to company property indicate incompetence under the law, correct?"

Steve tugged at his tie. "I suppose, but if you look at the money I've brought into-""

"And you have already discussed with Mr. Forman that this would allow for us to terminate you without breaking our agreement."

"Yes, but-""

"Then we think it's important that you know that if you choose to pursue work elsewhere, we will terminate you before you quit and sue you for the property damages you've caused."

Steve's jaw dropped. He looked at Andy. "Andy, is that really necessary?"

"This conversation's over, Mr. Urkel," Andy said firmly.

He didn't speak again until Steve had left. He turned to Reggie. "Think that'll be enough to get him to stay?" he asked.

After such an unpleasant morning, Steve wanted to spend his lunch break thinking about anything else. While chowing down on a fried peanut butter and Brussels sprout sandwich, he picked up his cell and dialed Carl's number.

"Hello?" Carl answered.

"Hey, Big Guy! How's your day goin'?" Steve chirped, glad to hear his favorite father figure's voice again.

"Hey, Steve," Carl said with little enthusiasm. "My day's been crazy, so make it fast. What's up?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course. I'll be faster than a jackrabbit during mating season," Steve joked. He laughed and snorted. Carl remained silent. Steve's face fell. "Anyhoo... I just wanted to know if there was anything I could bring to the poker game tomorrow night?"

Carl's brow furrowed. How had he landed himself in this minefield? "What do you mean?"

"Do you guys need anything? Chips? Pork rinds? Chicken feet?" he offered casually.

Carl cringed. _Gross. _"No, Steve. I think we're good being that all the guys who are playing are required to bring something."

Steve cocked his head. "So I should bring something?"

"No, just the guys who are playing."

"I'm invited, but I'm not playing?"

_There it is. _ Who had invited him? "No, you're not invited."

"I'm not?" Steve asked softly, trying hard to hide his hurt feelings.

"Well, Steve, you would be," Carl promised, realizing that he was in danger of hurting his relationship with his son-in-law again, "but it's a cops-only game. You'd feel kinda left out."

"Oh," Steve squeaked. "Yeah. Of course. I completely understand."

"We'll definitely invite you to the next non-cop poker game I host, though," Carl encouraged.

"I can't wait," Steve croaked, pursing his lips tightly. What a day it had been!

"So... I'll see you Sunday for our family dinner?" Carl asked cautiously.

"Yeah. See ya Sunday," Steve replied casually, hanging up as quickly as possible. He rested his head in his hands for a moment, and then he put on his patented Urkel grin, tossed his sandwich in the trash, and got back to work.

When Laura got home that evening, Steve was desperate to see her. She greeted him as she entered. "Hey, St-"

He grabbed her the moment he saw her and pulled her against him. He kissed her firmly and passionately. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally released her. Yeah. He needed that.

"Whoa," she giggled as he let go of her hips. "Hey, there, Tiger. What's gotten into you today?"

"Bad day," Steve answered, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"You wanna talk about it?" Laura asked as she watched his fingers dance down the buttons on his chest.

He stepped toward her and slid his shirt off his shoulders, dropping it to the ground. "No. I want you," he answered confidently.

Laura felt goosebumps when she heard his demanding tone. Something about Steve being confident in his pursuit of her, coupled with the sight of his chiseled chest, massively turned her on. Steve grabbed her hips again and pulled her into his groin. "Oh!" she gasped when she felt his erection against her. "Oh, I guess you do," she purred.

He smiled at her flirtatiously and wiggled his eyebrows. "Do you want me too?" He asked.

Laura smiled. "I wasn't thinking about it when I walked in the door or anything," she replied, reaching a finger up to her hair and twisting a lock around it flirtatiously, "but there is something incredibly sexy about the tone you're setting."

Steve began to unbuckle his belt, taking that response as encouragement. "What a coincidence, because I think there's something incredibly sexy about the way you look and walk and talk and breathe," he teased as he dropped his pants to the ground and stepped out of them. In only his boxers, he placed his fists on his hips in a Superman pose, proudly sporting his erection.

Laura glanced at it bashfully. With his sudden surge of confidence, she was starting to feel like the shy one. "Should we at least close the curtains?" she asked gently.

Steve shrugged. "No reason to," he answered, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him down onto the hardwood, kitchen floor, concealing them from view behind the counters.

"Wah!" She yelped as she fell, landing safely in his lap.

He lay her down gently, but forcefully, and climbed on top of her. Without another word, he kissed her and began to undress her. She was shocked by how quickly she was lying on their kitchen floor completely naked. He sat up slightly to look down at her. "I love you," he whispered as he slowly slid down her body.

"I love you, TOO!" she jumped as she felt his tongue on her clit. "Oh, God," she moaned. "Mmmmm..."

As he ate her, she focused on the pleasure and the sound of his gentle moans, completely losing herself in the moment as she edged closer and closer to ecstasy. Then he stopped abruptly. It took her a moment to realize that he wasn't just taking a breath and that he had truly pulled away. She sat up and looked at him, her eyes silently begging him.

He grinned when he saw the desperation in her eyes. She needed him just like he needed her, though nowhere near as much. "Relax," he ordered. "Get on my lap."

Laura's eyes widened. "What is with you today?" she chuckled nervously.

Steve grabbed her hips and moved her to straddle him. "I need you, Laura," he whispered.

She shook her head and chuckled nervously again. "We are going to talk about your day later," she insisted as she grabbed his member and guided it into her womanhood. "Oh, God," she groaned as she slid down it. Slowly, she moved up and down his member, savoring the sensation. "Oh, you feel amazing, but damn, I wanted to come."

He grinned. Of course, that had been the plan. She always worked a little harder for him if she was working toward her own finish. "You'll get to, Baby," he promised. "Just ride me all the way to downtown Pleasureville, USA!"

Laura guffawed. "Oh! Uhh... Oh, my God," She panted. "That was so cheesy, but this feels so good," she giggled.

"Mmmmm... It does," he agreed.

"You feel so good," she said again as she bounced up and down.

"Yeah, I do," he purred confidently.

"Oh... You're so big."

"And hard," he added. "I'm hard for you."

"Your big, hard... manhood feels so good inside of me."

"You're darn right it does!" he exclaimed.

Laura giggled. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Steeeve."

Steve smacked her butt. "Faster," he ordered.

She began to move faster, though she hoped that didn't mean she'd avoid another spanking. "Yes, Steve. Yes! That's it! Oh!"

He spanked her again. "Faster!" he ordered.

"Yes, Baby," she agreed excitedly as she sped up again.

He spanked her three more times. SMACK.

"Oh!"

SMACK.

"Oh, yes!

SMACK.

"Ohhh, Steve!" she cried as came. She pressed herself down on him more firmly and leaned into his chest as she began to shake and tremble, still grinding her clit firmly into his pelvis. "Steve," she cooed softly once she had completely finished. She was panting heavily.

Giving her little time to recover, he pulled her forward so her butt was up, and her chest was pressed against him. He grabbed both full cheeks and squeezed before he began to thrust himself up into her. He started slowly, he increased his speed at an alarming rate. Before long, Laura began to worry he was going to split her in half.

"Oh, Steve, Baby, slow down."

"I'm almost there," he growled. "I'm almost there."

She buried her face in his neck as she leaned in a little more. She was willing to take a little discomfort for him after all the pleasure he'd just given her. She began to nibble on his neck. "Come for me, Sexy," she begged softly in his ear. "Come inside me."

"I'm gonna come!" he warned her loudly. "Yeah, Baby. I'm gonna come!"

"Yes, Steve. Come inside me. Fill me with your cum," she whined.

Suddenly, with the sound of her whimpering in his ear, every muscle in his body tightened and finally released as he began to fill her with his hot, gooey cum. "Laura Lee!" he called as he pulled back on her weave so he could look her in the eye.

Laura smiled as she felt him finish. She loved orgasming for him, of course, but she always got this special feeling in her stomach whenever she got him off. It was like each time, she was making up for a little bit of the wrong she'd done him in the past. Nothing really felt better than that. "Wow," Laura breathed as she threw herself down on the ground beside him. "Wow, that was... incredible," she giggled.

Steve leaned over her and began to kiss her neck. "You sound surprised," he whispered in her ear.

"I am a little," she laughed. "I really wasn't expecting to be ravaged like that the moment I walked in the door."

Steve grabbed her breasts and massaged them. "Baby, when you look this good, you should know you're always fair game."

Laura giggled. "Ok... That's enough," she began seriously. "What-""

Before she could finish her question, Steve flipped her over onto her stomach as she gasped loudly. Then he yanked her up on her knees. "I'm not done," he growled, spanking her lightly.

"Oh! Hey, Steve," she began again, trying to interrupt.

He reached down to his member and began to stroke it trying to get it hard enough to take her again. He used his free hand to rub and squeeze her butt.

When his passion began to slow as he tried to prepare himself for round two, Laura pulled away. He released his member to try to grab her again, but she grabbed his hands. "Stop, Steve," she said firmly. "I'm not a sex toy. You need to slow down and talk to me for a minute."

Steve pulled away from her gently, not wanting to make her feel pressured, but that didn't mean he wanted to talk about his terrible day. "I'm sorry, Laura," he said softly, his voice ringing clearly with shame. "I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

Laura cocked her head at him. "No, Baby. It's ok. You just got a little carried away. I get it. I just need you to talk to me for a minute," she said gently, placing a hand on his thigh.

"I don't wanna," Steve said, squirming uncomfortably.

"Steve," Laura scolded, beginning to gather her clothes. "C'mon. Somethings obviously wrong."

"I don't wanna talk about it," he pressed again. He pushed her back down to the floor. "I just want you. Is that so wrong?"

"No, Steve. It's not wrong, but-"

"You are the only person in my life that I need. Your love makes my life worth living. You are the only person who really sees me for who I am and wants me."

"Steve, that's not true. My whole family loves you. I know you're having a hard time at work, but at least you get to blow off a little steam at Boys' Night tomorrow, right?"

Steve's face pinched together in pain. He forced it to relax. He sat up. Calmly, he finally admitted, "Actually, I'm not invited. It's a cops only game."

Laura gasped before she could stop herself as she sat up again too. Suddenly it all made so much sense. "Oh, Baby... Do you want me to call my dad? I'm sure I can get you an invite."

"No," Steve said, scowling in disgust. "I don't want a pity invite. I don't wanna be invited because my mom called his mom and said he had to. I wanna spend time with people who wanna spend time with me, and everyday, it becomes more and more clear that you're the only person who truly wants me." Laura moved to respond, but he continued before she could. "And you know what? I'm ok with that! You've always been the most important person in my life, so as long as you still want me, I'm happier than I thought I'd ever get to be."

"I do want you, Steve, but so do many other people. I'm not the only person in your life, though I'm glad I'm the most important."

"Laura, let's just stay home Friday night," he suggested, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Just the two of us. We can fool around a little while we watch a movie. Then we can make our way to the bedroom..."

"Steve, I'm going out on Friday," she said firmly.

"Don't. C'mon, Sweetums. We only need each other," he begged.

"No, Steve. We need our family and friends too. You need more than just me in your life."

He shook his head. "Sometimes, I wish you and I could just live alone on a deserted, tropical island."

Laura chuckled. "Who would our children marry?"

"Hey," he corrected, "who did Adam and Eve's kids get with?"

"I don't know. Each other?" Laura cringed.

"If it was good enough for them," he joked.

Laura laughed and pushed his shoulder. "Stop," she giggled.

Steve moved closer to her and lay her down again. "I would lose myself in you if I could, Laura Lee," he whispered.

"I don't want you to lose yourself," she replied. "You need to have a life outside of me, which means figuring out all your issues at work and getting a social life!"

He shook his head. "I don't want any of that. I want this," he said, inserting his fingers inside her. "All the time. Forever."

"Ohhhh..." Laura moaned. "Oh, God. Fine, but I'm still going out on Friday."

"Fine," he chuckled as he entered her again.

Laura spent the evening doing whatever she could to keep Steve happy. The next morning, however, she left for work a little earlier than usual, or that's where she told Steve she was going anyway.

She walked into the precinct and straight into Carl's office. She was surprised to find Eddie already in there. "Good," she said without greeting either of them. "I wanted to talk to you, too."

Eddie looked up at her. "I'm just getting off a twelve-hour shift and a few hours of overtime. Can't it wait, Sis?"

"No," she said as she sat in the chair beside him. She looked at her father. "What is wrong with you? Are you trying to ruin things with Steve again?"

Carl sighed. He should've known this was coming. "No, Laura, not at all, but this game has been going on a while, and it's always cops only. I didn't even let Eddie play until he had finished at the academy."

"That's true, Laura, and I asked. Did Steve say he wanted to play? He hates gambling."

"Your mother invited him without asking me," Carl explained.

"And that's not Steve's fault," Laura explained. "He thought you two had actually invited him, and when he found out that wasn't the case, it broke his heart. He came home saying that I was the only person in the world who loved him, the only person who loved him for who he really was, the only person he needed."

"Laura, it's just a poker game," Carl complained.

"Not to Steve! To Steve it represents your entire friendship!"

"How?" Eddie demanded.

"Because he wants to be your friend, Guys! He's always wanted that. He comes to the family stuff now. You guys are nice to him, but neither of you go out of your way to hang out with him. You guys never invite him to anything that's just for the guys."

"Well, we've never invited Steve to things like that. He's always just invited himself," Eddie explained.

"He's not doing that anymore. He's done begging, and I don't blame him. He used to have to beg for all the attention he got in his life, but now that he has me, he sees what it's like to have someone in his life who just cares about him and wants to spend time with him without him having to force it. He's never had that before, except with Myra. His parents were never like that. His friends, meaning Eddie and I, were never like that. It's no wonder he thinks I'm the only person in the world who loves him!"

"Laura, it's just a game!" Carl complained again.

"So make an exception to your rule, if it's just a game," she ordered.

Eddie and Carl exchanged a glance. "Laura," Eddie whined, "Steve wouldn't fit in with all our cop friends."

Laura raised her eyebrows, and Carl rolled his eyes. He could tell that was going to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Oh, is that what this is about?" Laura demanded. "You two are worried about Steve not being cool enough to hang out with you. Eddie, how many times do you have to learn this lesson? Steve has always been a good friend to you, and it's wrong of you to exclude him! And you!" she exclaimed, turning to her father. "You are a grown man, and you should know better!"

"Laura," Carl began, "it's not about Steve not being cool enough. It's about him not being a cop. We're gonna talk about cop stuff, and he's not gonna get it."

Laura shook her head. "That's crap, and you know it! You're embarrassed by Steve!"

"You used to be, too!" Eddie argued.

"Edward," Carl warned. He kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for them.

"I did… and then I grew up." She paused for a long moment. "No, I've had enough of this. You don't get to treat your son-in-law and your brother-in-law this way. Steve is your family, like it or not. I know I was the one who made that decision, but I made it. When you exclude Steve or you hurt Steve or you insult Steve, you're doing exactly the same thing to me. I won't put up with it for as long as Steve has," she warned. "Invite him to your stupid poker game," Laura demanded as she walked out the door, "or we're going to stop coming over every Sunday. Have fun explaining that to Mom."

With that, she slammed the door in their faces.

Unsurprisingly, but certainly surprising to him, Steve received a call from Carl Friday afternoon. He stepped out of the lab to answer. "Hello?"

"Steve!" he exclaimed. "Steve, I need a big favor, Buddy!"

"What's that?" Steve asked suspiciously. He was always willing to do just about anything for his favorite cop, but he was still a little peeved, and he wasn't exactly feeling generous at the moment.

"One of our guys is sick. We need a sixth tonight!"

Steve's brow furrowed. "Did Laura talk to you?"

"No," Carl lied immediately. "Why? What about?"

"You're not inviting me 'cause she made you? You really just have a spot to fill?"

"Yes," Carl answered. "I really need you to play with us."

Steve pursed his lips. "You need me to play. Need, not want."

Carl hesitated. He just couldn't get this right. "Well, no, Steve. I could ask another guy on the force, but we have an opening, and I know you were interested, so I thought it might be good timing. You don't have to play, but I… want you to."

Steve paused for a long moment. "I don't know, Carl…"

"C'mon, Steve. Don't make me beg," Carl joked cautiously.

"Um. Ok. Yeah. I guess," he shrugged. "You want me to bring anything?"

"Yeah. Everybody brings something, so just grab some beer or a bag of chips on your way over."

"Ok. Sounds good," Steve said, smiling lightly as he tried to tamp down his rising hope.

"Great. See you tonight."

"See you," Steve said before he hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Maybe this will be done in four chapters? I'm trying to get it to you as quickly as possible, but I won't sacrifice quality. Here's a little more I guess. Thanks for the reviews AS ALWAYS.**

When Steve got home that night, he found that Laura was already getting ready to go, though she wasn't anywhere near ready. He found her in the bathroom, in her bra and thong, curling her weave. She hadn't even applied her makeup yet. He stared at her for a minute, always captivated by her in her unmentionables. She was sporting an older, plain, cream-colored bra and a lacy, hot pink thong that he didn't recognize, meaning it was more than likely new and expensive. He knew that was the bra she wore on laundry days and when she wasn't planning on wearing one out.

A moment later, she noticed him. "Hey," she said, jumping slightly as he startled her.

"Hey," Steve replied.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Good," he answered. He stared at her for a moment as he leaned against the doorframe. "Carl called me."

Laura swallowed hard. "He did? What he say?"

"He said that they're down a guy, and they need another player tonight."

Laura tried to look surprised. "And he invited you?"

"Yeah," Steve said unenthusiastically.

Laura could sense where this conversation was going, meaning she had to end it quickly. "That's great! I'm so glad! I'll be ready in a few minutes!" she said dismissively as she turned her hair dryer back on and began to fluff out her waves. It wasn't a step she needed to do, and it was definitely messing up some of her hard work, but she kept it on cool to minimize the damage, and at least it put this conversation on hold.

Steve stared at her suspiciously before he finally relented. He went to the walk-in to change into something more comfortable and casual. Part of him still believed that Laura was responsible for his invite, and if she was, he had every reason to be mad about it, and they would certainly discuss it, but for the time being, he was going to do everything in his power to have fun tonight. In the off chance that this invite was sincere, he wanted to be sure that he didn't blow his chance at another one. He was going to be cool and calm and funny and a blast to have at boys' night, no matter what it took to accomplish.

When he heard the hairdryer turn off, he decided not to harass her for answers again. That could wait until after tonight. Right now, he needed her help. He walked over to the bathroom and saw her curling her hair again.

"Hey," she said again. She tried to hide how tense she was, though she wasn't sure she'd pulled it off.

"Could you help me pick out an outfit?" he asked in embarrassment.

Laura set her curling iron down and turned to him. "Baby, it doesn't matter what you wear. Pick out something that you like and that makes you feel comfortable," she insisted, reaching out for his hands.

"Laura, please," he swallowed nervously.

Laura cocked her head at him sympathetically. "Ok," she agreed. She released his hands and walked out toward the closet. "But you have to tell me if it's uncomfortable."

"Ok," he agreed.

She stepped into their closet and turned to his side. She grabbed his best-fitting, dark jeans and a pink polo and handed them to him.

"Pink?" He questioned.

Laura pouted. "You look hot in pink."

"Maybe not on boys' night?"

"Real men can wear pink," she reminded him as she put it back. She picked out a light blue polo instead.

He nodded. "Thank you, Sweetums."

"You're welcome, Honey." She stepped close to him and pressed her body up against him. "Relax. You'll do great." She kissed him softly before she went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. She had to speed it up, or they were both going to be late.

Steve was ready and waiting at the door five minutes early. Laura grabbed her purse and was ready to go five minutes late. He had to admit, however, that she was a knock-out. Her pink, form-fitting, crushed velvet dress would make any man want to run his hands all over her perfect body. Though he knew they still had a dangerous conversation ahead of them this evening, and though he was a little preemptively mad at her because he had so much reason to be suspicious, he couldn't help but smile when he saw her. "You are so sexy," he whispered as he came up to her.

She smiled back. "You like my new dress?"

"I really, really do," he replied softly.

Laura pouted at him seductively. "Those jeans are too thick. I can't tell how much you like it," she whined, pressing up against him.

"I like it a whole lot," he answered, "but we should go. We don't wanna be late." Steve grabbed a bowl of homemade dip from the counter and reached for the doorknob.

"What's that?" Laura asked, grabbing his wrist.

"My famous Squid-Gouda-Red Pepper dip," he answered.

Laura cringed. "Honey, you can't bring that."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I want you to be invited back?" she offered hesitantly.

"Laura, this dip is delicious," he argued.

"I know you think so, Steve, but… C'mon. You know other people's tastes usually don't align with yours."

He frowned deeply. No wonder no one really wanted to hang out with him. He couldn't do anything right.

Laura couldn't stand the look on his face. "Lemme try it," she suggested, reaching for the bowl and taking it back to the counter.

"You hate squid," he reminded her, still pouting.

Laura pulled a bag of corn chips out of the pantry and removed the foil from the bowl. She steeled herself and put on her bravest face. She scooped up a big bite and brought it to her lips. She hesitated for a moment, but then she saw the look on his face again and took the plunge. It was slimy. That was her first thought. The squid chunks were juicy. It was all way too salty. Mostly, it was the squid chunks. She couldn't resist spitting it out into her hand. "Oh, God," she moaned. She wiped her hand and washed up before turning back to Steve. "I'm sorry," she said immediately.

"It's ok," he shrugged. He placed a hand on the back of his head and rubbed gently. "If you didn't like it, you didn't like it. No big deal."

Laura reached out to him and tugged him closer. "Why don't we bring yesterday's leftover chicken? I can coat it in some buffalo sauce and put it on a plate with some celery slices, and you've got an appetizer!"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Ok."

Laura immediately grabbed the chicken and began to slice it into smaller chunks. "I don't mean to be bossy here, Steve. I'm just trying to help. If you'd rather bring the dip-"

"No. This is good. Thanks."

Laura drenched the chicken in sauce and transferred it to a plate. Then she pulled the celery out of the fridge and arranged it around the edges. Finally, she wrapped it in plastic wrap. "I just want you to get off on the right foot with these guys," she explained, handing him the plate.

Steve nodded. "We better go, or we'll be late."

When they got to the Winslow household, they were the first to arrive. Steve had no understanding of being fashionably late. "Hey, Ma. Hey, Daddy," Laura said as they entered.

"Hey, guys," Carl said, forcing a smile.

"Hi, Honey," Harriette said.

Steve remained silent.

"Hi, Steve," Harriette prompted, giving him an expecting look.

"Hi, Mom," Steve smiled weakly. He turned to Laura. "I'm gonna run to the restroom."

"Ok, Babe," she agreed, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

The second he was out of the room, Harriette stepped closer to Laura. "What's with him?"

Laura crossed her arms over his chest. "I think he knows that I made Daddy invite him. I'm not sure though."

"You didn't make him invite him. I invited him," Harriette reminded her.

"Yeah, but then Daddy uninvited him," Laura stressed. "Then I had to barge into the police station and threaten him so Steve wouldn't jump off a roof!"

"Carl!" Harriette scolded softly. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean anything by it! It's just usually a cops-only game!" he whispered harshly. "Why would you invite him without asking me?"

"Because it's a dumb poker game, and you should want to spend time with your son-in-law."

"I do!" he insisted. "But this game is a longstanding tradition!"

"Steve played with you before when he was a kid," Harriette reminded him.

"I remember," Carl said with annoyance. "It's a cops-only game, Harriette."

"You didn't tell him we talked, did you?" Laura interrupted.

"No," Carl answered.

"Then how does he know?" Laura asked.

Eddie and Max walked in before anyone could answer. "Hey," Eddie said.

"Hey," they all mumbled back.

Max looked around the room. "Why do you all look so weird?"

"It's nothing," Laura said as Steve returned. Laura stepped closer to Max. "Girl, I love your outfit!"

"Oh, thanks!" she said.

"Max," Harriette began with the friendliest, coolest vibe she could muster. "We've got a few minutes before Rachel gets here. Would you style my hair?"

Laura turned to Harriette and raised an eyebrow at her. Harriette had one hairdresser. One. She'd been seeing Rhonda for nearly twenty years and there was no end in sight.

"Umm… Sure, Mrs. Winslow," Max smiled nervously. "I'd love to."

"Call me Harriette," she insisted, grabbing Max's hand and leading her up the stairs.

Even though no one invited her, and even though she didn't appreciate that, Laura followed them upstairs.

That left the boys alone in their discomfort.

"Ok," Carl said after a long moment of silence. "Help me set up the table, boys."

When the table and chairs were set up, the snacks were out, and Eddie had eaten half of Steve's chicken, the rest of the guys started to arrive.

Carl opened the door after a knock. Willie, Carl's former partner and best cop pal, was the first to arrive. "Hey, Willie!" Carl said.

"Hey, Man!" he replied as he walked in. He handed Carl a bag of pretzels and nodded to Eddie. "Hey, Eddie." Then he noticed Steve. "Hey, Steve!" he said in surprise.

Steve looked up from his pile of chips. "Hey, Willie."

"Steve's joining us tonight since our sixth guy dropped out," Carl said, smiling uncomfortably, staring at Willie with wide, aggressive eyes. He was practically begging him to back up his lie.

Willie got the less than subtle hint. "Cool," he nodded, not questioning it. He sat beside Steve and handed his money to Eddie. "Thanks for taking his place," Willie said to Steve as he collected his chips.

Steve nodded uncomfortably, but Willie was never one to sit in silence.

"So, how's married life treatin' you?" He asked.

Steve smiled softly and looked back up at him. "It's everything I've ever hoped for and more," he answered honestly.

Willie smiled at Carl. "Ah, the honeymoon phase," he snickered.

Carl smirked and nodded, relaxing slightly. "That was a good four days," he joked.

Steve pursed his lips. He didn't think it was that. He and Laura were cooling down, at least a little. The first few weeks they were married, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Now, they were beginning to settle into their roles. However, he couldn't completely argue with it as they'd had sex on the kitchen floor yesterday. Maybe they were still blinded by palm trees and deafened by crashing waves.

"So, Max," Harriette began, "how are things going in beauty school?"

Max cleared her throat as she began to style Harriette's hair. "Um… Good," she answered.

"Good," Harriette chirped.

Laura sat on her parents bed and observed the scene in front of her. She was getting a contact awkward feeling.

"How are your parents?" Harriette continued.

"The same," Max answered.

Laura rolled her eyes. She had to intervene. "Hey, Max, did you see the dress Halle Berry wore to that benefit last week?"

"The one on the cover of Cosmo?" Max asked, finally relaxing as she found something normal to talk about. "Girl, Of course. She looked so fine."

"Doesn't she always?" Laura laughed.

Harriette pursed her lips as the younger women began to chat between themselves.

"But did you see her makeup?" Max continued.

"Oof. Yes, I did. That makeup artist should be shot."

"So how are things with Eddie?" Harriette blurted loudly and abruptly.

Max froze. "Um… Fine," she squealed before zipping her lips tightly.

Not long after Willie had gotten settled, the last two guys walked in.

Eddie stood to greet them. "Hey, Todd. Drake," he said, pulling them in for a cool, smooth handshake.

"Hey, Man," Todd said.

"Hey," Drake nodded. "Captain Winslow."

"Captain Winslow," Todd echoed.

"Officers," Carl nodded.

Steve stood to introduce himself. He extended his hand proudly, but then the guys sat down at table. Eddie began to shuffle cards. Willie dug into the chicken on the table. The new officers began to make polite, shop talk with Carl. Steve sat back down as subtly as possible, trying not to make a scene.

They slipped easily into a game of poker. Steve listened to their conversations and realized Carl was right. He did feel a little left out. It was tough to break into a cops only game. Still he listened and listened, waiting for an opening, but none arrived.

Then Harriette and Max walked down the stairs. Carl stood and whistled. "Look at you!" he exclaimed.

The rest of the guys stood up.

"Gorgeous as ever, Mrs. Winslow," Drake smiled slyly.

Harriette touched his shoulder affectionately. Max came up to Eddie, and he wrapped his arms around her. Harriette looked at Max and Eddie for a moment before she turned to Carl. "Carl, can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Sure, Sweetheart," he agreed, following her out of the room.

Max took a seat in Carl's chair, and the men sat again.

"So what'd you do with my gorgeous wife, Maxine?" Steve asked.

"She's trying to fix her hair. I tried to help, but she got all defensive… like she does."

Steve nodded. "She can be a little stubborn."

Drake chuckled to himself.

Steve glanced at him suspiciously.

He laughed a little harder.

"What are you giggling at over there, son?" Willie prompted.

"Ha, I'm sorry," he continued to chuckle. "I just… I didn't realize you were married, man."

Eddie perked up. "Oh. My bad, y'all. Drake, Todd, this is my brother-in-law, Steve."

Todd nodded kindly at Steve. "Hey, good to meet you."

Drake cackled a little harder. "I'm sorry, brother. I didn't know your sister was a dog either," he guffawed at Eddie.

"Excuse me?!" Steve growled.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed, growing angry. "Excuse me?"

Max giggled. "Relax, boys. He's gonna be eating those words in a couple minutes."

Todd elbowed his buddy in the side. "Dude, don't be a dick. That's the captain's daughter."

Drake rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean anything by it," he shrugged. "I was just trying to say that I thought the best friend of the incredibly fine Maxine Johnson might be playing in the major leagues." He glanced sideways and smirked at Steve. "You know, not church league tee-ball."

Steve was flabbergasted. Laura had spoiled him rotten, he began to realize. He just wasn't used to being talked to like that anymore. Oh, the confidence she was building in him was going to get his ass kicked someday. "Now, wait just a damn minute!" he exclaimed, standing and gearing himself up for a fight.

"Uh-oh," Laura said as she reached the top of the stairs. She quickly began to run down the steps, all of her goodies bouncing every which way and attracting everyone's attention. "Steve Urkel, you better sit down and wipe that look off your face before you get yourself into trouble," she scolded.

Steve relaxed as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Laura, c'mere," he begged, waving her over.

She walked up to him and placed a hand gently on his back. "What's wrong, Boo? What happened?" she pouted.

He pulled her closer and left one hand on her lower back. "Nothing," he said softly. "There's just someone I'd like you to meet."

She smiled in relief. "Oh? Ok," she beamed.

"Laura Urkel, this is Officer Drake Wyatt and Officer Todd Franklin. They're a couple of Eddie's buddies," he explained calmly and confidently.

Laura extended her hand and shook with the clearly shocked gentlemen. Laura glanced up at Steve and smirked. She was impressed that he was able to pull himself out of that jealous rabbit hole well enough to avoid upsetting her and stick the landing with whatever posturing he had to do for these alpha males. She cuddled close to him, wanting to really prove his point since he was behaving so well on such an uncomfortable night.

Steve looked down at her and smiled, grateful she was willing to really lay it on thick with him for the moment. He sat back in his chair and pulled her onto his lap, mirroring Eddie's position with Max. "Now, Drake, what were we talking about?" Steve prodded cockily as he gently stroked Laura's smooth, shapely thigh.

"I-I don't think it was important," he shrugged it off, still flustered.

Steve nodded. "So, Sweetpea," he began, "are you gonna be on your best behavior tonight on girls' night?" Steve smirked confidently.

"Boy," Laura scolded, beginning to find his attitude rude when it was aimed at her like that, "I know you didn't just ask me that."

The other men at the table ooooed as she said that.

Steve swallowed hard. He had better rephrase that. "_Ahem_. I just mean, things aren't gonna get too wild tonight are they?" he gulped nervously.

Laura rolled her eyes and decided to let it go once she saw it was coming from the most insecure part of his heart. There was no need to expose that vulnerability in front of all those people. They could always talk about his mildly demeaning need to control her at another point. It was sure to come up again. She leaned into him. "You know you're the only man who drives me wild, Tiger," she purred, kissing him softly.

Steve relaxed a little. He wasn't sure how he had sidestepped that fight, but he was sure glad he did. "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you, too," she replied, staring deep into his eyes. After a long moment, she took a deep breath and stood up. "All right, Max. We should get going. Where's my mom?"

"In the kitchen. Talking to your dad."

"So what's up, Harriette?" Carl asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Am I not cool anymore?" she demanded suddenly.

Carl furrowed his brow. "Huh?"

"I mean, really! How old am I? Have I turned to dust yet?" she exclaimed.

"No, Sweetheart!" Carl replied confidently and without hesitation, though inside he was terrified. What had he done? "You're young! Sexy! Vivacious!" he promised.

"Then why on Earth am I incapable of talking to 21 year old girls?!" she demanded.

"This is about Laura?" he asked in relief.

"No, this is about Max," she corrected.

"Max isn't talking to you?"

"No, she's talking to me, but with one-word answers and simple sentences. We're not having a real conversation! I'm not sure we ever have!"

"Honey, you're exaggerating. You and Max talk all the time. She's Laura's best friend. Think about all the conversations you three had while planning the wedding."

Harriette pouted. "Well, yeah, but she had to talk to me then! I've tried so many times to get closer to her now that she's with Eddie. That's what I missed with Greta. We were never close. I had no idea she was scared about Eddie becoming a cop. I could've helped her. I don't want any of us to lose Max. She's part of the family."

"Exactly, Sweetheart. She's part of the family. You don't have to try so hard. She already loves you!" Carl insisted, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Laura and Max walked in suddenly, so Harriette and Carl zipped their lips. "Hey, Ma," Laura said. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Harriette nodded. "One second. Lemme grab my purse."

As soon as Max and Laura had slipped into the kitchen to go find Harriette, Drake set his cards facedown. "Fuck, Bro. She is fine," he chuckled, punching Steve in the shoulder. "How did a guy like you get a woman like that?"

Steve ignored the temptation to rub his soon to be bruised arm. "I treat her with respect," he answered.

Eddie laughed. "No," he corrected. "You stalked her relentlessly."

Steve scowled at him. He had to bring that up? "But that's not how I got her, Eddie," he corrected. "My persistence only got me into the friend zone. It was the way I treat her that pushed me over the top."

"That, a hundred bucks, and a lot of beer," Eddie added with a laugh.

Willie set his cards down suddenly. As the eldest in the room, that needed to be addressed. "A hundred bucks?" he parroted. "Son, you didn't… pay her to…?"

"No!" Steve corrected urgently as the rest of the boys cracked up. "God, no! It was a charity auction. She paid a hundred bucks for a kiss from me because she felt bad that nobody else bid on me. She started falling for me after that kiss. That's what Eddie was so crassly referring to." He glared at his supposed best bud next to him. "Thanks, Eddo."

"So, Steve," Drake smirked, "what is she? A 38 B?"

"36 C," Steve corrected without thinking. Suddenly his eyes widened. What had he just revealed to this table full of wolves?

"Eh, Steve!" Eddie cringed. "I didn't need to know that!"

Steve looked at him. "Oh, my gosh, Eddo! I'm so sorry! I don't even know how that slipped out!"

Suddenly, the girls walked back in, followed by Carl. Steve finally exhaled. That conversation must have been put to rest. Surely, no one would have the guts to talk about the size of Laura's breasts in front of her father. He was safe again.

"Have a good time, ladies," Carl said, returning to his seat at the table on the other side of Steve. "Be safe."

"We will, Daddy," Laura promised as she came up behind them. She bent forward and leaned down to kiss Steve's cheek from behind. Still leaning forward, she wiped her lipstick from his cheek and whispered, "You're gonna do great, my love. Just relax, and be yourself."

Steve kept his eyes locked on Drake in front of him, glowering as he noticed the young officer lick his lips as he got a long look at Laura's cleavage.

She stood suddenly and walked quickly to meet the other women at the door. "Love you!" she called.

"I love you, too!" he called after her as the door slammed behind her.

Once she was gone, he looked back at his cards for the first time in far too long.

"I think it's on you, Willie," Carl said as they finally continued their hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading AND reviewing! Two chapters after this! Then it's on to the next episode!**

Laura, Max, and Harriette met Rachel and Estelle outside the Sizzle Club, paid their cover while receiving a few confused glances, and finally walked in.

Laura had been uncomfortable with this choice from the get-go, but it was especially weird since everyone in the club seemed to be staring at them. "Are you sure this is where you wanna spend Girls' Night, Mom? I thought you just wanted to go out to dinner."

"I'm sure!" Harriette replied. "You girls Are always talking about this place. We thought it was time to check it out. Right, Mother Winslow?" she prompted as she saw Estelle was starting to get into the groove.

"Oh, Sugar… You've never been?" she asked Harriette with a deep look of concern on her face. She suddenly recognized a bouncer across the bar and waved at him. "Yoo-hoo! Dave!" she called.

He waved back. "Hi, Estelle!"

Rachel leaned closer to Harriette. "Where doesn't she know the whole staff?"

"You're really sure, Mom?" Laura asked again. "This just doesn't seem like your style."

Harriette raised an eyebrow. "Chile, you have no idea how much style I have. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna head to the bar," she warned as she marched away.

Rachel glanced at Laura and Max in confusion and then followed quickly after Harriette.

Laura looked at Max. "Has my mother lost her damn mind?" she whispered harshly. "We are at the Sizzle Club!"

"I know," Max agreed. "She's acting super weird, right?" She paused for a minute. "Does this mean we have to buy our own drinks?"

Laura glowered at her. "What?" she snapped.

Max shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought we were gonna grab dinner. Your mom was gonna buy. I didn't think I'd need to have cash."

Estelle sidled up beside them. "I hope you don't mind that I was shamelessly eavesdropping."

Laura chuckled. She often was.

"I'm gonna go open up a tab for the night, Maxine," Estelle promised with a wink.

Max looked back at Laura as Estelle walked away. "Girl, c'mon! Let's go! Now, it's an open bar!"

"So if the cards are shuffled truly randomly, the likelihood of shuffling a deck into perfect order is 1 in 10 to the power of 68," Steve finished. He looked around at his hostage audience. They didn't exactly look captivated. "I'll call," he answered finally, tossing his chips into the pot.

"Right," Eddie nodded. "I'll call, and I'll raise you five."

Suddenly, Carl's phone rang. "Hello?" he answered. "Yes, Commissioner," he agreed. "Yes, of course," he nodded. He stood from the table, folded his hand, signaled the table that he'd be a minute, and headed into the kitchen.

The boys continued playing for a few minutes in silence, and then, with his captain out of the room, Drake got brave again. "So, Steve," he began, "I cannot stop thinking about Laura."

Steve glared at him. "I really wish you would."

Drake smirked that smirk that Steve had seen all too often growing up. To put it simply, he was a bully. He was enjoying making Steve uncomfortable and that he had the power to do so. "I would just love to spank that big booty," he growled.

Steve clenched his jaw. He understood bullies. Giving them the reaction they wanted just made it worse. The best thing was to ignore.

"Bro, that's my sister," Eddie scolded. "Besides, Steve doesn't talk about that kind of stuff. He's not like us."

Steve looked at Eddie. With that comment, he realized even Eddie didn't see him as one of the guys.

"He's far too respectful," Eddie continued. "A king among men," he finished, patting Steve on the back.

"All right," Drake cackled. "I'll drop it. Yo, I did hook up with this girl last weekend though."

"That babe from the mugging?" Todd asked.

"No. Tanya," he corrected. "From the jewelry store robbery."

"Oooo," Eddie cooed. "The salesgirl? She was hot."

"Mm-hm," Willie agreed. "With dem big titties."

Steve's eyes widened. Willie was happily married and a grown man, yet he was chatting about the endowment of some young woman. Was this the kind of conversation he was missing by not having any close guy friends, other than Eddie?

"Nah, man," Eddie corrected. "It's all about dat ass." He laughed a hearty, belly laughed. "Tell me you turned her around," he chuckled. "Mm!"

Steve raised his eyebrows and tried to hide his shocked expression behind his cards. Maybe he wasn't even close with Eddie. He'd certainly never heard him talk like that. Eddie talked about girls, and he wasn't always respectful, but, at least in front of Steve, he was usually pretty subtle.

"Brother, you know I did," Drake laughed, fist-bumping Eddie.

Suddenly, something inside Steve snapped. He was sick of feeling left out and different everyday of his life. Laura's love really had spoiled him. She had showed him what it was like to be in a room and feel like he belonged there. He felt like he belonged in their apartment. He wasn't feeling like he belonged at work anymore. He didn't feel like he belonged at this game. He didn't feel he was welcome at this game, but he didn't want to feel that way anymore. "I like the sound of my hips slapping against her big booty when Laura and I make love in that position," he blurted suddenly.

Eddie and Willie turned to him, completely stunned. Where had Steve Urkel gone? Todd, too, raised an eyebrow. He didn't know Steve, but he knew that that was some weird guy talk.

Drake, however, pursed his lips and nodded out of respect. It was clear the geek was trying. "Um. Yeah, Man," he chuckled. "Laura's got an ass like Tanya's. You just gotta take 'em from behind."

Steve nodded. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "Laura… looks really sexy like that." He swallowed hard and felt the guilt move from his throat to his stomach. What was he doing?

"Yeah, I bet she does," Drake grinned elbowing Todd.

"Oh, yeah," he agreed. "I didn't mind watching her walk away."

Eddie and Willie looked at each other uncomfortably. They certainly weren't going to comment on Laura. Finally, feeling bad for Eddie, Willie cleared his throat. "So, uhh… Drake, back to Tanya, you gonna see her again?"

"Fuck no," Drake cackled. "I do have a date with that girl, Veronica, from the mugging tomorrow night though. Now, she's got tig ol' bitties," he laughed, making a honking motion over his own chest.

The rest of the guys laughed with him, while Steve looked back down at his hand. His stomach was starting to hurt.

A few drinks in, Harriette seemed to have made herself at home at the Sizzle Club, and Laura was mortified as she watched her mother and Aunt Rachel dancing with a group of guys in their twenties. As the song ended, it only got worse as Harriette laughed her way back to the table where Laura and Max were seated uncomfortably. "What are you two wet blankets doing?" she demanded.

"We're just talking, Mom," Laura said. "Why don't you join us?" she practically begged.

"Laura, we are at the Sizzle Club. Now, I know you two don't just come here to talk."

"Tonight we did," Laura said, raising her eyebrows and looking down at her empty drink. "I'm gonna go grab another. Does anybody want anything?"

"No thanks," Max replied softly.

"I'll take another Rum and Coke," Harriette said.

Laura raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. If that's what she wanted…

Harriette glanced at the line at the bar. It was loooong. This could take a minute. This was her chance. "So, Maxine, now that we're alone. Really, how are things with Eddie?"

Max looked down and blushed. "They're great, Mrs. Winslow."

"Call me, Harriette, Sweetie," she interjected.

Max nodded. "He's great, Harriette," Max said nervously.

Harriette smiled. "I'm so glad. I think you're really good for him, you know that?"

Max looked up at her. "Really?"

"Yes, I do," she said, reaching out to take her hand.

"Why's that?" she demanded bashfully.

"You're kind. You're funny. You're smart," she continued, knowing she didn't hear that one often enough. "Plus, you don't let him get away with anything. You always call him out when he's feeling a little overconfident, and I appreciate that. Someone has to keep that boy in check."

"That's for sure," Max giggled blushing as she looked down at her lap.

"You're also just already a part of the family, Max, so I'm glad you're really becoming a part of the family!"

That caught Max's attention. "Mrs. Winslow, did Eddie say something to you?"

Harriette pursed her lips. "No, he didn't say a word, but he didn't have to, Max. He's in love with you," she said firmly.

Max furrowed her brow. "We've only been together a couple months."

Harriette shook her head. "It doesn't matter. You've known each other a lot longer than that. He knows you, Max, and he loves you."

Max squirmed in her seat. "I- I gotta go," she said eventually, standing from her stool.

"Max," Harriette began.

Laura returned just as Max was grabbing her purse. "Here you go, Mom. One rum and Coke," she said with a raise of her eyebrows. Then she looked up at Max. "Hey, Girl, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Max said, "I just have to… go." She began to walk toward the door.

"Wait, Max!" Laura called.

"Ok, Steve. Your turn," Todd said as the game of Fuck, Marry, Kill made its way around the table to him as they continued to play cards. "Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, and… Uh…"

"Laura," Drake finished for him with a chuckle.

Steve took a deep breath. He was just one of the guys.

"Steve," Eddie said, glaring at his obnoxious friends "you don't have to answer that."

Steve forced an unconvincing smile. "It's all right, Eddo. It's all in good fun, right, fellas?"

"Of course," Todd agreed.

"Well, obviously, I'd marry my wife because she's the love of my life, and I can't live without her," he said first.

"Aww…" Todd cooed. Drake looked at him sideways, and he shrugged. "It was cute."

"Then… I guess I'd have to…" He hesitated heavily on the next word. He'd actually never used it before. He wasn't one to swear much at all, but if he were going to, he'd aim for swears that could be used on TV, not one this bad. Tonight, however, he was just one of the guys. "I suppose I'd… fuck… Tyra Banks."

"Whoa, Steve! Language!" Eddie scolded.

Steve turned to him in surprise. "What? But I thought- I thought I-"

Eddie laughed and slapped him on the back. "Just messing with you, Man. I've never heard you say that before."

Steve looked down in embarrassment. Eddie didn't have to point that out in front of everybody. He steeled himself and sat up taller. "So like I said, I'd fuck Tyra Banks," he said confidently.

"STEVE!" Carl boomed suddenly from behind him, apparently returning from his phone call at the worst possible time. "What on Earth do you think you're doing using a word like that?"

Steve's eyes widened. "B-b-big Guy!" he exclaimed.

"And what are you talking about Tyra Banks like that for in my house? You are married to my daughter!"

"I-I-I know C-Carl,"'he stammered. "I just…" He didn't even know what to say.

"That's our fault, Dad," Eddie said, jumping in. "We were playing Fuck, Marry, Kill."

Carl relaxed slightly and sat down. "Edward, you know I hate that game… and that word."

"I know, Dad," Eddie nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Carl, I'm so sorry," Steve pleaded.

Carl shook his head at him and picked up the cards Willie had dealt to him. "That's all right, Steve. I'm just a little surprised at you. You're usually too mature for nonsense like that."

Steve nodded. He usually was, but why did he always have to be the mature one while all the other guys got to be… guys?

"You should know better, Willie. You're their superior officer," Carl scolded.

"Hey, Buddy," Willie replied, reminding Carl that they were still friends, even if Carl outranked him, "I abstained. They were just blowing off some steam. It was harmless."

Carl nodded gruffly. That phone call hadn't put him in a great mood, it was becoming clear. He had handled it well, and it was done for the night, but the work of a police captain was just never really done. "Nobody mentioned my daughter's name in this game, did they?" he growled.

Drake answered before Steve could. "No, Sir," he lied.

"I'm gonna grab another beer. Anybody want anything?" Todd asked as he stood. "Steve, you don't want a beer? You're just nursing that cola."

"Steve doesn't drink," Carl answered firmly.

Steve puffed out his chest a little. "I drink on occasion," he challenged.

"A few sips of champagne for a toast doesn't count, Steve," Eddie chuckled. "Grab one for me, though, Todd?"

"No problem," he nodded, heading for the door.

"I'll take a beer, too, please," Steve blurted suddenly.

Carl raised his eyebrows at him. Todd waited patiently in the door for everyone to weigh in on that position because he could tell it was going to take them a minute. "Steve," Carl began, setting his cards down, "this is a friendly, weekly poker game. This is not the time for you to experiment with booze. Laura's out drinking tonight. You're supposed to be her DD."

"It's one beer, Carl. It's no big deal."

"It is to you, Son," Carl said firmly.

"Big Guy," Steve grumbled under his breath, "I'm a grown-up."

Carl reeled back slightly. Steve was usually begging for his guidance and advice. "Steve," he replied softly, "I just don't want you to embarrass yourself."

Steve pursed his lips and steadied himself. "I'll take that beer now, Todd. Thanks," he said firmly, looking away from Carl.

"You got it," Todd nodded, disappearing into the kitchen.

The men sat in silence until he returned. He handed a beer to Eddie and one to Steve before he sat down with his own. Steve reached out and opened his can. He lifted it to his lips and took a long swig. He cringed as the bitter taste touched his tongue. "Ahh…" he lied unconvincingly. "Refreshing."

Carl rolled his eyes at him. He seemed to be extra stubborn tonight.

Drake chuckled at him slightly. "Should we turn this into a drinking game, gentlemen?"

"Officer Fredericks," Carl scolded sharply.

"Sure," Steve agreed. "What's that one? Never Have I Ever? I'm sure I'd win that one! I've never done anything interesting, have I, Carl?"

"Steve?" Carl questioned. "What is going on with you tonight?"

"I'll start!" Steve said excitedly. "Never have I ever had sex out of wedlock."

Everyone at the table drank, save for Steve and Carl. Steve glanced at Carl. "Really, Big Guy? I wasn't sure about you with that one. Good for you!" he chirped.

Carl cocked his head at him. That was a bit closer to the Steve Urkel he'd grown to know and tolerate. He could only assume that Laura was right. He knew that she'd demanded he be included. It was obvious he was throwing all of his ideals out the window in a bitter, desperate attempt to fit in. Carl sympathized with him, but he was certainly not going to encourage the behavior. "Of course, Harriette and I waited until marriage Steve. I'm old-fashioned, like you. Men like us sometimes have trouble relating with the player generation," he said pointedly. Then he literally pointed across the table.

Steve pursed his lips and nodded. "Your turn, Eddo," he said softly, a little embarrassed by Carl calling him out, and a little bitter.

"Never have I ever… been to space," he replied.

Steve took a drink and cringed at the taste again. "I see what you did there," Steve chuckled.

"Never have I ever," Drake began with a mischievous smile.

"Boys, that's enough," Carl interrupted. "We're here to play poker, if you wanna play childish drinking games, you can do it somewhere else."

Then Carl's phone rang again.

"Darn it," he exclaimed before he stood and walked into the other room. "Hello again, Commissioner Geiss."

Drake's smirk returned. "Never have I ever… tittyfucked Captain Winslow's daughter."

Steve raised his eyebrows. They were certainly getting intimate. Slowly, he took a long drink to make sure they all saw.

"Ohhhh!" Drake called as he laughed. "Way to go, Steve! I was wondering if you were completely vanilla, or if you were at least making good use of her bangin' bod."

"Hey, I been fantasizing about things I could do to that bangin' bod way longer than you, Bub," Steve smirked with a wink.

Eddie shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "That's still my baby sister, you guys," he chuckled awkwardly.

Drank smirked at Eddie. "Todd, it's on you."

Todd thought for a long moment. "Never have I ever… worn glasses."

"Lame," Drake scoffed, before taking a drink along with Steve.

"You wear glasses?" Eddie questioned.

"When I take out my contacts, yeah," he shrugged.

Todd chuckled. "Should we start calling you four-eyes?"

"Only if you wanna drink when I say "Never have I ever gotten my balls punched in the middle of a poker game,'" Drake warned.

Todd rolled his eyes. "Willie," he said.

"Oh, no. I'm sitting this one out too," he replied. "You boys better be careful. Captain Winslow's getting a little frustrated with all this."

"Oh, pishah," Steve said to Willie. "He'll be fine." Steve took a sip of his beer, which still tasted nasty, and continued the game. "Never have I ever worn a rubber," he grinned.

Eddie cringed and took a sip. The others all raised their eyebrows as they drank.

"The beauty of monogamy, gentlemen!" he exclaimed.

Eddie took a deep breath and continued. "Anyway, never have I ever made my brother-in-law uncomfortable by talking about sleeping with his sister."

Steve looked at him. Was this really bothering him? That certainly hadn't been his intent. He was just trying to fit in with Eddie's friends. "Eddo, I didn't mean to-""

"Just drink," Eddie grumbled.

Steve looked at him and took a long sip. He pursed his lips at him apologetically.

"Never have I ever," Drake continued, "fucked Laura Urkel in the ass."

Steve's eyes widened, and he turned to Drake.

Eddie stood suddenly. "Jesus, Man. That is way too far." He glared at Drake for a long moment, considering his options, before he finally waved at him in a frustrated surrender and stormed into the kitchen.

Drake stared at Steve who was staring at the door after Eddie. "You didn't drink," he scolded.

Steve glanced back at him. "Huh? Yeah, I can't," he replied. He looked back at the kitchen door. "I'll be right back," he said as he stood. He walked to the kitchen door and went to step in. He froze as he heard Carl's voice.

"I don't know what's goin' on with him, Edward," Carl replied, responding to something that Steve hadn't heard. "I never thought I'd hear Steve talk like that."

Steve swallowed hard as he realized they were talking about him.

"I know. I didn't even know he knew some of those words," Eddie agreed.

"He's just trying to fit in, I guess," Carl shrugged. "I just never thought he'd try to fit in by… objectifying Laura."

Steve frowned and his stomach turned. Is that what he was doing?

"It's pretty hard not to when you're hangin' out with my idiot friends. I wish Laura hadn't made us invite him. Then we wouldn't be in this position."

"Hey, I'm not risking it. Harriette would kill me if Laura stopped coming to Sunday dinners because I hurt Steve."

Steve pulled his ear away from the door abruptly. He looked back at the boys at the poker table staring at him. He had been right. Laura had set all this up. Nothing about this night was real, certainly not the sixth guy who didn't show and definitely not Steve's own behavior.

"Max, wait!" Laura said again as she followed her toward the door. Then she froze as she heard her cell ring, and Max made her escape. Laura looked back at the door after she'd pulled her phone out. She was long gone. "Damn it," she grumbled as she accepted the call. "Hello?" she answered absentmindedly.

"Hey, Laura," Steve said softly.

Laura smiled when she heard his voice. "Hey, Baby! How's your night goin'?" she cooed.

"I'm not feeling well," he lied. "I'm gonna go home."

"What?" Laura asked. "But you're my ride," she replied in confusion.

"I'm going home, my pet. I'll leave some cash for a cab for you in the fridge at your parents' house, under the pickle jar."

"But, Steve-""

"I'll see you at home, Laura Lee," he said before quickly hanging up the phone.

"Steve?" she asked into her cell again. When he didn't respond, making it clear he'd hung up, she shoved her phone back in her purse and sighed. Somehow, she now had two messes to clean up. She looked at her mother, still seated at their table. At least, one of them had left a few clues behind to help her solve the mystery. She walked back over to her mother and sat across from her. "What the Hell just happened between you and Max?" she demanded.

"Nothing happened," Harriette complained. "We were just talking."

"Well, something happened. She wouldn't've left for no reason," Laura insisted.

Harriette looked down at her drink. "Look, I was just trying to chat. She pressed me to say something about Eddie that she may not've been ready to hear," Harriette explained, fiddling with her straw.

Laura narrowed her eyes at her. "What did you say?" she growled.

"I just mentioned… that I thought… he was in love with her," Harriette squeaked out.

Laura gasped. "Mom! They've only been together a couple of months!"

"So? Have you seen the way he looks at her? He loves her!"

"Well, I know that, and you know that," Laura agreed, "but-"

"Anyone with eyes would know that," Harriette corrected.

"But not Max!" Laura complained. "Max didn't know that, and clearly, she wasn't ready for it!"

"Laura, I'm just excited for them. I think this is a really good fit, and I want Max to feel comfortable talking to me about it. I don't want to lose her the way we lost Greta."

"Mom, we're not gonna lose her," Laura promised. "She talks to me."

Harriette frowned. "I want a relationship with her, too, Laura. That's all I was tryin' to do."

"You have a relationship with her, Mom."

"Then why does she always seem so uncomfortable around me lately?"

"Because you're her boyfriend's mom!" Laura exclaimed. "That makes everyone uncomfortable. Before, your relationship was a few passing conversations about each other's lives and making fun of me. That's the relationship you're supposed to have with your best friend's mom. Now, she feels like she has to show you she's good enough to be with your son, and she gets nervous, and she's not sure how to act. Her relationship with Eddie is too new to her to feel confident in her new relationship with you."

"She told you all that?" Harriette asked.

"No, Ma," Laura answered. "I just know how I'm gonna feel the next time I see Steve's mom. I just removed all the bitterness about parental neglect from the equation," Laura chuckled morbidly.

Harriette laughed too. Then she looked down at her drink and pouted. "I didn't mean to make this harder on her."

"I know, Ma, and she'll get over it. Right now, I promise, _you_ are the _last_ thing on her mind. She's freaking out about Eddie."

"So it's a little fast," Harriette shrugged. "He knows better than to say it this soon. Can't she just shrug it off as Eddie's mom being crazy?"

Laura shook her head. "Oh, no," she said firmly. "Definitely not. That girl has commitment issues."

"Really?" Harriette asked.

"Yeah," Laura nodded. "Her parents have never been great role models in the relationship department, but she was able to push past all that when she fell for Waldo, but when he just disappeared, it destroyed her."  
"But that was years ago."

"True," Laura agreed, "and at two months, Eddie is the longest lasting boyfriend she's had since."

"And I just pushed their relationship out of the nest, huh?"

"No," Laura said standing, "but you need to go warn Eddie, and I have to get home to Steve who apparently has also had an awful night."

"What happened to Steve?" Harriette asked, glancing around for Rachel and Estelle.

"Anybody's guess," Laura shrugged as she flagged them down, pulling Rachel away from the bar and Estelle away from the several young men she was dancing with.

When the ladies got back to the Winslow's house, Laura walked inside for just a minute to see if she could figure out what was going on with Steve. Harriette tapped Eddie on the shoulder and led him into the other room.

Laura stopped in front of the table and sat beside Willie. "Willie, where'd my dad go?" she asked.

"He's on the phone with the commissioner," he answered.

Laura nodded and glanced up at the clock. Steve was going to have to wait a minute, because she definitely wasn't going in blind. She looked back at Willie. "Did Steve say anything when he left?" Laura cringed.

"Not a word," Willie said, shaking his head.

Drake cleared his throat and got Laura's attention. "That husband of yours got really wild tonight," he smirked.

Just as Steve had earlier, Laura recognized that smirk. Drake was the type of guy who used to torture Steve. Laura turned to face him more directly. "Really?" she challenged.

"Oh, yeah," he laughed, taking a drink of his beer. "He told us all about how _bad_ you are in bed." He said "_bad_" with an inflection indicating that it wasn't the kind of "bad" that meant Steve was dissatisfied. In fact, it was the opposite.

Willie narrowed his eyes at Drake. It was one thing to talk about Laura with Steve, but it was an entirely different thing to objectify his best friend's daughter right to her face. "That is ENOUGH, Officer," he boomed.

Laura jumped slightly. She'd never heard Willie speak like that. He was usually lighthearted and playful, but that was anything but. That was his cop voice. She pouted at him affectionately when she realized it had only come out to protect her. "That's ok, Willie. I've dealt with worse," she said softly, patting his knee. She turned back to Drake, and she smiled flirtatiously. "I'm glad Steve told you all about the naughty, _naughty_ things I do for him, and I bet you asked about some things that we haven't tried yet, but I just want you to know, I would do absolutely anything my husband asked me to do in bed. For him, my body is always available in whatever way he needs it to be. I trust him so completely, he will never go unsatisfied," she purred. She stood and walked up behind Drake. She placed her hands gently on his shoulders and leaned down so her lips were close to his ear. "It's too bad that you're never going to treat a woman well enough for her to feel the same way about you," she whispered just loudly for everyone at the table to hear.

Drake's smirk that had only grown since she had leaned over him disappeared suddenly as his brain caught up with her words. "What?" he gasped.

Laura smiled smugly and stood up again. "I'm gonna go find my dad," she announced. "See you later, Willie. Bye, Todd." Without another word, she walked into the kitchen to find Carl.

Harriette pulled Eddie into the kitchen and then out to the backyard when she saw Carl was on the phone, seated at the kitchen table. When they got out onto the back patio, she turned to him. "I messed up with Max tonight," she admitted immediately.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Oh, Lord. What did you do?" he asked.

"I told her you loved her," she replied meekly.

Eddie's eyes widened. That was so much worse than he had expected. "You did _what_?" he barked.

"We were talking about you, and I just wanted her to know that I approved! I told her that I thought you were a great match and that you were so clearly in love. I thought I was telling her something good!"

"Mom," he exclaimed, "you can't tell people other people love them before other people tell them they love them!"

"What?" Harriette asked, cocking her head at that unnecessarily complex phrasing.

"I need to go talk to Max," he concluded.

"I think you should," Harriette nodded.

He moved back toward the door but froze as Harriette spoke again.

"Was I wrong?" she asked.

He paused for a long moment and pursed his lips. "I never said that," he replied before stepping back inside.

Laura passed him as she walked into the kitchen to find Carl just as Eddie stormed out. As much as she wanted to interrogate her brother, too, about what went down with Steve, she could tell now was not the time. She nodded at Carl as he waved at her, trying desperately to get off the phone. She looked at Harriette as she walked in the backdoor. She walked over to her, meeting her in the middle of the kitchen and spoke softly to avoid disturbing Carl. "How'd it go?" she asked.

"About as well as you'd expect," Harriette shrugged.

Laura nodded.

"I'm gonna head to bed, unless you need me for this," she offered.

Laura shook her head. "Go ahead. I'd rather do this alone."

Harriette nodded. "G'night, Honey."

"Night, Ma," she said, kissing her cheek.

"Love you."

"Love you, too," Laura replied softly, taking a seat beside Carl. She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.

Carl noticed the look on her face and quickly gathered that he was in trouble. He cleared his throat and wrapped things up as quickly as possible with the commissioner. Finally, he turned to her. "What did I do now?" he asked in exasperation.

"I don't know," she replied honestly, "but my husband stormed out of here so you must've done something."

"I honestly didn't, Laura," he said. "I don't know why Steve left, but I wasn't even in the room with him when he did. I assumed it had something to do with Eddie's idiot friends."

Laura shook her head. "I don't buy that. He doesn't care enough about those guys to let them bother him."

"I was nothing but welcoming," Carl promised. "Eddie and I both were. We didn't ask him to drink. We didn't ask him to talk about… S-E-X. He decided to do all of those things on his own. We just wanted him to be himself. If it all became too much for him, it's on him, not us," he finished, denying all blame.

Laura shook her head. "I'm gonna go home and talk to my husband, but I don't believe for a second this is as simple as you're making it out to be."

Carl put his hands in the air. "I really tried tonight, Sweetheart, and Steve did not make it easy."

"Night, Daddy," she said, walking toward the backdoor.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart," he replied as it slammed.


	4. Chapter 4

After Eddie had left the house, he drove straight to Max's place. He parked his car in front of her driveway and signaled her with one honk and three flashes of his headlights. Then he turned off his headlights. The last thing he needed was for her parents to see the car watching their home and call the cops, or worse, confront him directly. When she didn't come out, he concluded she must not be home.

He sat, waiting for her for a couple of hours before he finally gave up and went home.

When Laura got home after a long and exhausting night, she was not looking forward to having it out with Steve, but she assumed she'd have to since he was so upset that he'd nearly forced her to hitchhike home. Thankfully, her mother's awkwardness at the club had left her sober enough to drive, and Steve had taken a cab, expecting her to take one too, since he'd almost finished a beer. She unlocked the apartment door and walked in. She kicked her heels off at the door immediately, even though that's not where they went, and walked back toward the bedroom. She was surprised to find that the lights were off throughout the apartment, and Steve appeared to be fast asleep in bed. She considered letting him stay asleep, but she didn't want to appear unconcerned by his dramatic exit, so she figured it was best to wake him. She sat gently on her side of the bed and twisted her body at the hips to lean over him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

Immediately, he replied, "I don't wanna talk about it tonight, Laura. Let's just go to sleep."

"Honey," she began gently.

"No, Laura," he said firmly. "I can't do this with you tonight. We can talk about it in the morning."

Laura couldn't wait that long. She sighed deeply and went to get ready for bed. She took off her makeup and brushed her teeth. She washed her face and did her evening moisturizing routine. Then she walked back to their closet and tossed her dress and panties into the hamper. Completely naked, she walked back into their bedroom. He didn't even open his eyes. She climbed into bed beside him and spooned him, making sure he felt how little fabric was between them. She placed one hand on his hip and stroked it gently. His shirt rode up as her hand moved. Soon, she was able to drag her fingernails against his bare hip. She felt him shutter. She somehow pressed herself closer to him. She began to gently kiss his neck.

"Laura, no," he said softly. "I don't want to do that when I'm mad at you. It… cheapens it."

Laura frowned. "Well, then let's talk it out. Then you won't be mad at me, and we can make love. Isn't that what you need after such a long… hard… day?" she asked as she slipped her hand into his pants and gripped his member. He already had a semi. She smiled to herself as she realized just how right she was.

He sat up and pushed her hand away. He finally looked at her. "How could you do that to me, Laura?" he asked softly.

She sat up beside him. "Do what, Baby?" she pouted innocently. She knew what she'd done, or she thought she knew, but she wanted to be certain they were talking about the same thing and that he had all the details before she outed herself.

"How could you force Carl and Eddie to invite me after I asked you not to?" he demanded, beginning to show real anger.

"Honey, I-"

"No," Steve said firmly. "Laura, stop that. Please, don't just smother me in Honey's and Baby's until I let this go. I really need to know what on Earth you were thinking. You offered to get involved. I told you I didn't want you to. Then you did anyway, and you lied to me about it."

"I didn't lie!" she stressed. "Not technically."

"You lied by omission," he countered. "Laura, why couldn't you just let this go instead of embarrassing me in front of all of them?"

"Steve, you were so hurt," she said softly. "I couldn't let them do that you."

"It's not your job to protect me!" he countered.

"It damn well is!" Laura yelled.

He gawked at her.

"From them, it is, Steve. How would you feel if your family was treating me like garbage?" she demanded. "Would you just let that go?"

"That's different," he argued. "You don't have a relationship with my family. I have one with yours, and I had one before we were married. It wasn't your place to interfere in those dynamics, especially when I asked you not to! You would kill me if you asked me not to get involved in something like this, and I did anyway!"

"Yes, Steve, but-"

"And you know this is a sore spot for me. You know that it bothers me when you pity me. I don't wanna be pitied by you. I just wanna be loved!"

"I do love you, Baby," she promised, reaching out to him as he pulled away.

"Then why don't you think anybody else will without you making them?"

Laura gasped. "Steve, my family does love you. I promise you they do."

"Well, if you have to force them to express it by threatening that they won't get to see you anymore, then I'm not sure I buy that." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "God, Laura, am I ever gonna be enough for you?"

Laura's heart ripped in half. Holy escalation, Batman! She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Steve waited for a long moment in silence before he finally heard her say, "You are more than enough for me, Steve," she promised.

"Laura, I'm never gonna be the guy that your family wants to hang out with. I'm never gonna be just one of the guys. I tried with them tonight. I really did. I even said some… filthy things about you to try to fit in. I even drank ¾ of a beer, but I still didn't fit in. I'm never gonna be like all your old boyfriends."

"I don't want you to be!" she interrupted. "I've never wanted you to be anything but yourself, Steve."

"Then you have to understand that I'm not gonna get to go out and do things with people a lot. I was a really lonely kid, Laura, and I'm a really lonely adult. That's just who I am. People don't like me. I love you more than anything in this world, Sweetums, and you make me feel so good about myself and so full and so complete, but just because you see me differently, doesn't mean that everyone else is going to. You need to accept that so that I don't feel like I'm failing you on top of how bad I already feel when I get snubbed like this."

"Steve," Laura whimpered, beginning to cry, "you haven't failed me. I don't want you to fit in or to be cool or popular or to be like any other guy. All I want is for you to be happy, and you weren't when you came home and told me my dad uninvited you. You were heartbroken, and maybe you're used to feeling like that, but I'm not used to feeling like I did when I saw that look on your face. I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I upset you, but I'm not sorry I got involved, Steve. I'm always going to get involved on your behalf, Baby."

"But, Laura," he whined, "I specifically asked you not to."

"I know, and I'm sorry I ignored that, but how would you feel, Steve? If someone was treating me badly, and you knew there was something you could do about it, would you just let it go because I asked you to?" she challenged.

"Probably not," he admitted. "I'd probably do something just as dumb, and it would blow up in our faces, and you'd be furious with me."

"So we're two peas in a pod then, huh?" she sniffled, hoping she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Laura, you can't do that again. I feel worse now then I did before," he complained.

Laura looked away. That certainly hadn't been her intent. "So what am I supposed to do then? When something like this happens? What am I supposed to do?" she demanded.

"Just be there for me. You can't fix it, my pet. I think this experience has taught us that much. You can't fix something like this without making me feel like you're trying to fix me, so just love me. Tell me you love me for who I am. Hold me. Touch me. Comfort me, but don't try to force me to fit into a situation that I wasn't meant to be in. I don't wanna go anywhere I'm not welcome anymore."

Laura took a deep breath, and she sighed. "Ok," she agreed. "I'm sorry, my love. I won't do this to you again, but you understand why I did it, right?"

He nodded. "Absolutely, Laura. I don't understand why you love me so much that my pain is your pain, but I definitely know that feeling."

Laura smiled weakly. "I do love you that much."

Steve nodded. "I'm starting to see that."

"What filthy things did you say about me?" she asked with a gentle smirk.

Steve looked down and blushed. "I told them your bra size," he admitted bashfully.

Laura chuckled. "That's not so bad."

He felt guilty for embarrassing her, but he knew that he had to power through that feeling because she had every right to know exactly what he had said about her. "Then I told them I like to… make love to you…"

"No surprises there," she shrugged.

"Doggystyle," he continued.

Laura laughed. "Oh, Sweetie…"  
"Then we played 'Never Have I Ever', and I told them that I have… made love… to your… bazongas."

Laura blushed. "Was my dad in the room for that?"

"No," Steve promised, "but Eddie was."

"Wow, ok," she laughed. "I did not think you were gonna take it this far."

"I told them I've never worn a rubber."

Laura gasped. "Stop!"

Steve nodded. "I'm so sorry, Pet."

Laura shook her head, still chuckling. "It's ok, Babe… I just can't see any of this coming out of your mouth in front of me, let alone a bunch of jerks at a poker game." She waited for him to continue. "Is that all?" she asked when he didn't.

Steve nodded. "I also told them that we'd never…" Steve froze. He couldn't say that one.

"That we'd never what?" she pressed.

He shook his head. "I can't even say it. We've never done it. Let's leave it at that."

"Huh," Laura said. "That's funny because I told Drake and the guys that I would let you do absolutely anything to me in bed."

Steve raised his eyebrows. "How did that come up?"

"Drake told me you got a little chatty tonight, and I wanted to… knock him down a few pegs."

Steve laughed and snorted. "What did you say?"

"You tell me what we've never done, and I'll tell you what I said," she challenged.

Steve considered it for a moment. "Let's leave it a mystery," he answered eventually.

Laura frowned. "Is it something you wanna do?"

Steve stopped. That was the first time in his life he'd actually considered it. When he used to fantasize about her as a kid, all he thought about was kissing her. Then, as a young adult, the thought of ever being able to enter her… womanhood was more than enough to keep him satisfied, but now that he had that, he had never considered if there was more he really wanted to do. Did he want to have… anal sex? Steve Urkel, king of the dorks, modest beyond modest… Was he seriously considering… butt stuff? He looked at Laura. She was the most beautiful creature in the universe, and there was definitely a part of him that wanted to be intimate with her in every way imaginable, but there was also a part of him that told him that she would think he was a pervert for even considering it. Then there was the part of him that had just stiffened. That part knew that her booty was one of her most attractive features and that it definitely needed to be… He stopped himself from even thinking the next word. "I might want to," he answered, "but I'm not ready yet."

Laura shrugged one shoulder. "Ok. Well, let me know when you are, ok?"

He nodded quickly.

"Hey," she said gently, "so are we ok? Have you… forgiven me?"

Steve smiled. "For sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? Yes."

"Thank you," she purred, leaning closer to him.

"Have you forgiven me for sharing the intimacies of our marriage and going on a drinking binge?"

She chuckled. "I was never upset with you, Boo."

"Good," he smiled. "I'm sorry anyway. That wasn't me, Laura. I don't know who that was."

Laura shook her head. "It's normal to try and fit in, Steve. I put you in a situation you didn't need to be in, and you reacted to it. It's nothing to feel bad about."

"I'm never gonna do it again. From now on, it's Steve Urkel, the classic edition, all the time," he announced.

"That's the only Steve Urkel I want," she promised, kissing his cheek slowly. "Are you ok, Baby? I know you don't want me to interfere, and I won't, but do you still need to be comforted? Are you still mad at my stupid dad and brother? Are we not speaking to them? I need to know what to do next."

"All I want you to do," he promised, "is lay back on the bed. I wanna make love to you."

Laura smiled up at him. "Are you sure?" she pouted.

"Very sure," he replied as he climbed on top of her.

She began to unbutton his shirt while he pulled his pants down to expose himself. "Even though I was such a bad girl today?" she purred.

He smirked at her her and leaned close as he began to touch her all over. "I was a bad boy, too," he purred. "Let's be bad together." She giggled loudly as he began to kiss her neck.

When Eddie arrived home and opened the door, he sighed deeply. He closed the door behind him hard and locked it. Then he moved to the couch and sat down, never bothering to turn on the light. He rested his face in his hands as he contemplated the consequences of his mother's verbal diarrhea.

"Hey," Max said behind him, stepping out of his bedroom in one of his tee-shirts from the academy and a tiny pair of cotton panties.

Eddie turned back to look at her, noticeably surprised. "Hey, Maxine. What are you doin' here?"

"We said we were coming back here," she shrugged, coming up to sit by him on the couch after turning on the lamp on the end table.

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, but that was when I thought we'd be driving together, before you stormed out of Girls' Night. I just spent two hours in the road outside your house, waiting for you to get home."

"You should've called," she shrugged as she pulled her legs up to her side.

"I didn't think you'd answer," he replied.

"Why not?" she asked, cocking her head.

"Because of what my mom said to you," he explained.

Max inhaled sharply, though she tried to hide her discomfort. "Yeah, well, you didn't say it, so I'm not upset with you or anything. It freaked me out for a minute, but I figured it was probably just your mom… being a mom. All they see is sunshine and valentines." She looked away as she said that and began to pull at a loose thread on his shirt.

Eddie paused for a moment. "Yeah. Right, of course." He looked down at his hands and asked, "So we're cool?"

"Sure," she mumbled.

He looked back at her. He reached for her hands, pulling them away from the hem of his old, ratty tee. "Good," he said, "because I really like what we have goin'."

"I do too," she nodded, rubbing her thumbs against the tougher skin of his hands.

"And I don't want you to think that anyone's ever rushing us into something we're not ready for."

"Good," she agreed. "Me neither."

"But my mom was right. I do love you, Maxine Johnson," Eddie said confidently, holding her hands tighter, just in case she tried to run for the hills.

Max's jaw dropped. "What?" she scoffed.

"I love you, Max," he said again, more softly and more timidly this time around.

"Eddie, we've only been together for two months," she reminded him, pulling her hands away from him and tucking them in her armpits as her arms crossed her chest defensively.

"You don't think I know that?" he asked.

"You're acting like you don't!"

"Max, sometimes you just know," he replied.

"No. No, you don't. Sometimes your brain floods with chemicals that feel good, and you think it's permanent, but not everybody can make everybody happy forever. Love is fleeting, and new love is the most blind to that. You don't love me."

"Sometimes you just know," he said again.

"No!"

"Steve knew!" he replied.

"What?" Max asked.

"Steve knew," Eddie continued, desperately trying to justify himself. "Steve knew in kindergarten that Laura was the love of his life. He knew when he knew, and he never wavered. I love you, Max."

Max shook her head at him. "God, you are so transparent sometimes. You don't love me. You want what they have!" she explained.

"That's not it!" he barked defensively.

"It is, Eddie, and I get it. What they have, as weird as it is, looks magical. They're so stupidly happy. I would love to feel as strongly as they do about someone, but that doesn't happen overnight, Eddie. That kind of devotion only comes with time. Steve may have loved her at first sight, but he wasn't this crazy loyal when he was five. If she had started dating him then, they probably would've fought and broken up by recess. Steve and Laura had to learn how to be in each other's lives before they learned how to be friends and before they learned how to be in love. Eddie, if you really want what they have, you can't rush it," she said seriously.

"But you've been in my life for years, Max! Not as long as Steve's been in Laura's, but for years! We've been friends for so long!"

"We weren't friends, Eddie," she corrected. "Laura and I were friends. You and I were… family, like Laura and I were. I knew you'd be there for me whenever I needed you, but we didn't hang out like I did with Laura… or even Steve! I'm better friends with Steve Urkel than I am with you. You don't know me well enough to really love me yet, Eddie."

Eddie frowned deeply. "How can you say I don't know you?"

"How can you say you do?" she challenged.

"Because I do! I know you use milk way past the expiration date shamelessly in you coffee and on cereal. I know you hate Tricia at the salon but pretend you love her. I know you're on the pill but forget to take it all the time, so I still have to wear a condom. I know you say you love old Motown bands, but your idea of Oldies is really 80's R&B. I know you keep all the Chinese food menus that show up on my door, even though you never wanna try a new restaurant. I know-"

"That's what you think it means to know me?" she questioned, growing upset. "You sound like you're reading dumb trivia about a celebrity in a gossip mag. That's all you need to know about a girl to love her?"

"That's not all I know!"

"But that's the kind of stuff you know, Eddie. You don't know why my parents are so unhappy or why they're staying together. You don't know who my first boyfriend was or how that destroyed me when that ended. You don't know what medications I'm on. You don't know how I feel when I look in a mirror. You don't know how dumb I feel when I try to talk to Laura about anything other than boys, clothes, and celebrities. You don't know what my biggest fear is. You don't know how I fell in love with Waldo. You don't know what happened between us when I was seventeen. You don't know how much we both were hurting when it ended. You don't know anything that Waldo knew about me. You don't love me. You can't." She was crying now.

Eddie tried to process all of the information and hints she had just thrown at him, but he couldn't unpack all that now. "Who's fault is that, Maxine? If you think there's more I need to know, you need to open up to me!"

"I'm not ready to do that, Eddie!" she exclaimed. "That's the thing! I haven't opened up to you yet because I'm not there yet, and you're so needle-nosed focused on getting what Steve and Laura have, and getting back to where you were with Greta so you can keep moving forward, that you don't even care. You didn't even notice that you didn't know me yet."

"It's not that I didn't notice that you're closed-off, Max" he claimed. "It's that I know there's nothing you could be hiding that could make me love you any less."

"Fine! Maybe there's not, but you should still care about all of that stuff," she exclaimed.

"I do!" he argued. "I want you to tell me everything there is to know about you."

"If you cared about all that stuff, you wouldn't say you loved me yet because you'd know that you need to know and love all that stuff as much as you love the stupid shallow stuff in order to love me right."

"I will love all of it. I promise," he said, reaching a hand out to her. "You just have to tell me."

"I'm not ready for that," she said, shaking her head seriously and wiping her tears. "Our relationship isn't ready for that."

"Max," he said seriously, "where is this going? What do you want in the future?"

Max squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know, Eddie. You know I haven't had anything real since Waldo."

"I know, but do you want something real? Do you want to get married and have kids someday?"

"That's so far down the line…"

"No, I know that. I just mean, whether it's with me or not, is that something you want in life?"

Max hesitated. "I don't know, honestly."

Eddie frowned deeply. "Then what are we doin'?" he demanded. "Are you gonna do what Greta did? Mess around with me for years and then suddenly ditch me because you can't see a future with me?"

"No, Eddie. I don't wanna do that to you, I just… I don't know if I want… kids," she replied nervously, looking away from him again.

"What? Why not?"

"Not every woman wants kids, Eddie," she snarled.

"Right," he agreed. "I know that, but you love kids."

Max sighed. "I do, but it's complicated."

He moved closer to her and took her hand. "It doesn't have to be. I love you. I wanna keep dating you. Someday, we may wanna get married, and if we get married, we can buy a little house on a nice block. We can start a family. Give Steve and Laura's weird, nerdy kids someone to play with."

Max chuckled. "It's that simple to you, isn't it? Love. Marriage. Babies."

"If that's what you want. I know that's what I want."

"Oh, to be a Winslow," she mumbled bitterly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, leaning back in offense.

"It's not that easy for everyone, Eddie. Some people don't have families like yours. Some people have parents like Steve's who neglected him or parents like mine who can't stand each other. There are plenty of reasons not to start a family."

"Max, I think you gotta enlighten me here because you're right. My family is TV perfect, and I just don't see what could be so bad about you and me makin' babies down the road."

Max took a deep breath. "Look, this isn't a conversation I expected to have so early on, but because you can't keep your big, dumb, moony eyes to yourself, I guess I have to tell you something. I don't tell anybody this. The only person who knows this is Waldo. I think Laura maybe has an inkling, but we have some kind of unspoken rule that says never to talk about it."  
"What is it, Max? You're scaring me," Eddie said.

"My mom has clinical depression. She has… for as long as I can remember. It comes, and it goes. She's medicated for a while; then she's not. That's why my dad won't leave, because she's sick. That's why they can't just be happy, because sometimes she just can't be. When I was a kid, sometimes she would go weeks without getting out of bed. She's missed dozens of birthday parties and dance recitals and cheer tournaments because the world is just too much for her sometimes. I'm just too much for her sometimes."

Eddie slowly wrapped an arm around her as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I'm so sorry, Max. I had no idea." Eddie felt her shoulders tense under his loving touch.

"The things is, Eddie… I have it, too," she said determinedly. "It never seems to hit me as hard as her, but I have depression. There have been days when I couldn't eat or drink or get out of bed. I haven't had a really bad month since Waldo left, because that was hard obviously. Since then, my meds have been rebalanced, and I'm ok, but there's no guarantee that I'm always gonna be ok."

"Wow," Eddie said eventually, not that that even began to sum up his feelings. "And Waldo's the only one who knows that? You've never talked to Laura about it?"

"Waldo and my parents. That's it. I think that's actually why I fell for Waldo. He was so easy to talk to about that stuff. First, the stuff with my mom. Then when it started to affect me. I mean, I love Laura, but she's a fixer. She just can't stand it when things aren't ok, and I knew this was something she couldn't just fix. Waldo was different. He didn't try to fix anything when I was sad. He didn't try to fix me. He just spent time with me, and he was just his dumb, goofy, lovable self whether we were out at a party, having the time of our lives, or cuddled in my bed after I'd gone 12 days without a shower. He was just Waldo, no matter the circumstances, and that's why he was so easy to love."

Eddie grew a little uncomfortable as she rambled on and on about his former best friend. They usually didn't talk much about him because it made them both uncomfortable, but he realized in that moment that he was going to have to understand her relationship with Waldo in order to understand her. It was a formative time in her life. "That makes a lot of sense, actually," he admitted, rubbing her shoulder. "I've never understood why you were with him for so long, but I guess that explains a lot."

Max pursed her lips. "Yeah," she said eventually.

"You're right, Maxine. I should be asking more questions. I should be trying to get to know you more intimately."

"No, Eddie," she grumbled. "I don't want you to do that. I just don't want you to have unrealistic expectations of me. I may never be ready to have kids because I don't want my kids to have a childhood like mine. I wanna be a mom, but I don't wanna be a mom who misses a single dance recital because she just… can't. I wanna be a good mom, or I don't wanna do it."

Eddie nodded. "Ok, so what are you saying? That it's never or that it's maybe never."

"Maybe never," she answered eventually, "but I don't wanna string you along, Eddie. If you wanna keep doing this, you have to accept the fact that you might never be a dad."

"But I'll get to be a husband? Someday?"

Max hesitated. "If you'd still be willing to be my husband after spending some time getting to know the real me, if you'd be willing to deal with expensive therapy bills and the occasional breakdown… You know, and if I still want you after all that, then yeah. I wanna get married someday."

Eddie smiled softly. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'll take it," he purred, grabbing her left hand and lacing his fingers through hers. "Thank you for sharing with me tonight."

"Thank you for sharing with me," she replied, "but your thing was dumb. You're a romantic idiot."

Eddie grinned at her. "I've been called worse."

"I bet you have," she teased.

He grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. "I love you, Maxine Johnson," he said. He saw her facial expression change, but he didn't let go of her. He brushed his thumbs against her velvety cheeks. "You don't have to say it back until you feel it, but I'm never gonna stop saying it."

Max rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress the small grin on her full lips. "Ok, Eddie Urkel," she joked.

He laughed and kissed her again. "Let's go to bed," he said, lifting her into his arms from her seated position and standing easily from the couch.

She laughed loudly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice," she laughed as he walked her back to his bedroom.

When Laura woke up the next morning, Steve was nowhere to be seen. She climbed out of bed and slipped on his shirt from the night before. Then she walked into the office when she heard him dropping things.

"Dagnabbit!" he exclaimed as he bent to pick up his dry erase marker again.

"Morning," she yawned as she entered.

"Good morning, Light of My Life. How are you today?"

"I'm good," she replied, walking over to where he was standing and turning to see what was scribbled on the dry erase board in front of him. "What are you up to?"

Steve smiled. "I'm coming up with a new budget to fit my new salary."

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Really? You're gonna take the job?"

"Yes, my pet," he answered, leaning forward and adding another row labeled, "Lingerie".

Laura chuckled as she noticed what he'd written. "What made you decide to take the leap?" she asked.

Steve capped his marker and turned back to her. "I wanna be somewhere where I'm truly wanted," he replied. "If Waterton is poaching me, he wants me."

Laura pursed her lips and nodded. It wasn't the outcome she had expected, but if that was what he wanted... "All right," she nodded again. "I'll let you get back to it then."

"Not so fast," he said, grabbing her by the hips and lifting her onto the desk behind them. He leaned in and kissed her. "We need to go out and celebrate tonight," he purred as he began to nibble on the silky skin of her neck.

Laura giggled. "Yeah?" she purred. "Mmm… Whatever you want, Baby," she replied as he landed in just the right spot.

"I thought I could take you shopping and then out for a very expensive dinner."

"Yes, please," she cooed.

He laughed and snorted, biting her neck harder. "Mm. You are so sexy," he whispered.

"So are you, Mr. Confident," she replied.

"Maybe we need to celebrate a little this morning, too," he whispered, slipping his fingers into her womanhood.

Since they were up so late, Max slept in. She woke when she heard the shower turning off. She rolled out of bed, still completely naked, and stretched. She slipped Eddie's tee back on and walked into the bathroom. "Morning," she said as he stepped out of the shower.

"Morning," he purred walking up behind her and wrapping her in his arms. He kissed her neck over and over as she leaned back into it.

Finally, she met his eyes in the mirror. "You still wanna get real with me?" she asked.

"Definitely," he replied, tensing slightly.

She stepped away from him and went to her makeup bag sitting nicely on the counter. She pulled out a pillbox as if she were an old lady. She opened the tab for Saturday. She pulled out four pills in two different shapes and colors and held them in her hand. She showed them to him. "Antidepressant one: two pills in the morning. Antidepressant two: one pill in the morning and one at night," she explained. "I've actually never been on birth control. That's just my go-to lie when someone catches me taking these, and I didn't think it through when I told you they were birth control pills. Then I just had to come up with something, so I said I always forgot to take them, so you still had to wear a condom."

"Wow. I'm kind of an idiot," Eddie said.

"Kinda," Max said, placing three pills in her mouth and setting the other one back in its spot for tonight. She filled a paper cup with water and drank it, swallowing the pills. "But you're my idiot," she smiled.

Steve did just as he promised. They celebrated a couple of times that morning. He finished their new budget. He took her on a fabulous date that included tons of new clothes and lobster. Then they celebrated again to finish their evening. He fell asleep with his mind completely at ease, thrilled to have finally made a decision.

However, Sunday, they both knew, wouldn't be as comfortable.

However, Sunday, they both knew, wouldn't be as comfortable.

"Do you wanna skip it?" she offered hesitantly as he stepped out of the shower.

"No," he replied, wrapping a towel around his waist. "I wanna see your mom and 3J and anybody else who makes it. I can handle the Winslow men. I'm still pretty used to their rejection, even if I'm starting to tolerate it a bit less."

"Ok," she agreed, plugging in her curling iron. "If you're sure."

When Steve and Laura arrived at Sunday night dinner, they were the first to show up. They walked in the backdoor, holding hands as they often did. Only Carl and Harriette were in the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," Laura said, letting go of Steve's hand to hug both her parents hello.

"Hi, Honey," Harriette replied.

"Oh, hey, Sweetheart," Carl said, kissing her cheek.

Steve walked up to Harriette and kissed her cheek. "Hi, Mom!" he chirped.

"Hi, Baby," she replied, pinching his cheek affectionately.

"Hey, Big Guy," Steve said, smiling softly.

Carl relaxed slightly. So they were at least speaking. That was a good sign. "Hey, Pal!" Carl said, forcing it a little too much.

Steve made a face and then turned back to Harriette. "You need any help, Mom?"

"No, Steve, I got it. Relax. Have a seat." She paused for a moment. "Grab a beer," she chuckled.

Steve frowned, and Laura noticed immediately. "Mom!" she scolded sharply.

Steve reached out and pulled Laura against him. "Oh, relax, Sugar Plum. Very funny, Harriette, but I'll be sticking with Sprite tonight," he said with a smile that only Laura could tell was insincere.

She leaned into him and placed a hand on his chest. She looked up at him meaningfully, begging him with her eyes to let her intervene, but she didn't get the go-ahead.

Steve kissed her forehead and walked over to the fridge. He leaned in and grabbed a Sprite. "Anybody else want anything?"

Harriette and Carl replied that they were all set, but Laura didn't say a word. She was standing behind the kitchen island, chewing her thumbnail.

"What about you, Baby?" he cooed. "Need a bubbly, refreshing soda to wet those soft, rosy lips?"

Laura smiled softly at his flirty attitude. "No thank you, Honey," she replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table. She relaxed slightly as he did. It was a poor joke. That was all. He came back and sat next to her at the table. She placed a hand affectionately on his thigh as the conversation in the room picked up.

Eddie and Max walked in a while later. Max was carrying a bottle of red wine.

"Hey, everybody," Eddie said, walking in to greet his parents. He walked up to Harriette first. "Hey, Ma," he said, kissing her cheek.

"Hey, Eddie," she replied. She hugged him and whispered in his ear, "Everything ok?"

He nodded as he pulled away from her.

As he did, Max looked back at them. She slipped away from Laura with the bottle in hand and walked up to Harriette meekly. "Mrs. Winslow?" she began.

"Yes, Max?"

"I'd really like to apologize for skipping out on you Friday night. I brought us a little wine so the three of us could try to redo girls' night tonight?" she proposed.

"Don't worry about it, Max," she said, accepting the bottle. She looked around to make sure everyone else was occupied elsewhere. "I'm sorry about what I said," she admitted.

"Don't be," Max pressed, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "Eddie and I had a really good talk because of it."

"I'm glad," Harriette grinned brightly. She pursed her lips. "Well, I'll open this up and pour a few glasses," she said.

Max smiled and nodded. She turned to walk away but froze as Harriette spoke again.

"Maxine?"

"Yeah?" she asked, turning back to her.

"Would you like to have lunch with me sometime?" she offered. "On me."

Max smiled softly. "I'd really like that… Harriette."

It was only the six of them that night. Even 3J was staying over at Rachel and Richie's new apartment. They sat down to a lovely meal filled with lively familial talk. They were all relieved it was going so well. Steve was even starting to accept the fact that maybe this was just his family. It was a wonderful family that he was glad to be a part of, and he didn't have to keep pushing his luck the way he often did. He loved spending time like this with them. This was all he really needed.

When the meal was over, Eddie stood and went to the fridge for another beer. He paused at the open door and turned back to the table. "Hey, Steve? You want a beer?" he cackled, leaning forward as he laughed at his own joke.

Steve tensed again. Then he replied curtly, "No thank you, Eddo."

Laura pouted at him and placed her hand on his thigh under the table.

Max looked back at Eddie. "What is so funny? You know Steve doesn't drink."

"Oh, he does now," Carl chuckled slightly. "He drank half a bottle at that poker game."

Max grinned and turned back to Steve. "Good for you, Steve."

Laura felt the need to stop them. "Guys, maybe we don't need to talk about that g-"

"No, it's fine, Laura. Let 'em get it all out."

"Oh, we gettin' it all out?" Eddie asked as he sat at the table again. "Oh, then in that case, I cannot believe you would rather have sex with Tyra Banks than my sister!"

Laura raised an eyebrow at him. "E'cu'e me?" she asked in vintage Urkel fashion.

Steve turned to her quickly. "Oh, no, Sweetheart," he replied nervously. "I married you."

"Well, maybe that's just because Tyra Banks never expressed any interest!"

"No, no, no," he corrected. "In the game. I married you in the game we were playing. You know… Canoodle, Marry, Kill?"

Laura relaxed slightly. "Oh… So really, you would rather marry me and have sex with me and kill Tyra and…"

"Halle Berry," Eddie finished for her.

"If that's what it took," Steve promised.

"Wow, Steve, you sure got wild last night, huh?" Max laughed.

"Oh, that ain't the half of it," Eddie laughed as Steve shrunk slightly. "Whenever Dad was out of the room, he would regale us with tales from his bedroom."

Carl's brow furrowed. "You did?" he barked.

Laura jumped in immediately. The last thing she needed was for her husband and her father to be at each other's throats again over what she decided to do in the bedroom. "Guys, c'mon, let's just drop this, ok? Nobody had a good night last night. Let's just let it go."

"No, Laura," Steve said firmly. He looked up at Carl and Eddie. "Obviously, this is on their minds for a reason, and they're right to bring it up. Big Guy? Eddo? I think I owe you both an apology."

"No, you don't, Steve," Laura pressed.

"I do," Steve insisted. "Last night, knowing that neither of you really wanted me at that game, I was feeling really insecure, and I was in survival mode, like a chameleon. I wanted to be invited to more Guys' Nights, so I did anything I could to fit in, and I kind of lost myself in the process. I'm sorry I made you both uncomfortable. I know I'm not just one of the guys. I'm sorry for pushing it."

Carl and Eddie exchanged a glance.

"Steve," Eddie began uncomfortably, "c'mon, man. We were just messin' around. It's no big deal. You don't need to give us a speech about it."

Carl wiped his hands on his napkin and stood. "Boys," he announced, "we're goin' out to clean the grill."

Steve looked down at the table. "Carl, I don't think I really feel like it right now."

"C'mon, Steve," Carl said gently. "Let's go."

With that, he led the men out to the backyard while their women shared a nervous glance before they began to clear the table.

When they made it out back, Carl opened the grill and got to work. "Steve, I'm sorry we didn't invite you in the first place. We were just using our cop brains, and we missed the big picture."

Steve shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Laura made you invite me. She and I fought about that a lot last night. I don't need to be included in everything you guys do."

"But you should be, Steve," Carl argued. "You are one of the guys."

"Oh, no, I'm not, Carl," Steve said dejectedly as he sat on a piece of patio furniture in the backyard. "When I try to act like me, I annoy you guys and your friends. When I try to act like Eddie's dumb friends, I make you both uncomfortable. I can't win. I'm your in-law, and I don't think I can be your friend, too. That's ok, though. I love being your family," Steve concluded.

"Steve, that's not true," Eddie finally spoke. "You're our friend. We were just messin' with you. We weren't uncomfortable last night."

"I heard you guys," Steve explained, "before I stormed out last night. I know you weren't exactly enjoying my new… tough guy persona."

Eddie snickered. "That was your tough guy persona?"

Steve glared at him.

"Steve," Carl continued, "we just wanted you to be yourself."

"Oh, so that was better? When I was talking about probability and teaching you all math?" he challenged.

"Well," Carl squeaked.

"Exactly," Steve said firmly.

"Look, Steve," Carl continued, "cops are supposed to look out for our brothers in blue. That's why we do extra things like poker games and why we have a bar that's usually just for us. We have to know these men and women have our backs on the street, so we have to build relationships to save our lives." He paused for a moment to let that sink in. "However, that doesn't mean that we should forget about our actual brothers… and sons. Maybe I didn't want you at this game, but I never should have uninvited you. That was cruel, but, Steve, you need to understand that just because I don't invite you to everything, doesn't mean I don't wanna spend time with you."

Steve raised his eyebrows. "You wanna spend time with me?"

"Of course, I do," he said firmly.

"Even without Laura around?"

"Yeah, Steve. We should set up a guys' night. Just the three of us," Carl said as Eddie nodded in agreement.

"Ok," Steve agreed nervously. He didn't feel like he could trust this bridge he was crossing, but there was a little boy in him that just couldn't resist trying to get to the treasure on the other side.

"How about the first Thursday of every month, we go out for a drink after work?" Carl proposed.

"I'd like that," Steve agreed.

They glanced at Eddie. "Why not?" he shrugged.

"Then it's a deal," Carl nodded. "That being said, Steve, if you still wanna come to our poker game, you're more than welcome, as long as you're yourself."

"Really?" Steve asked, furrowing his brow.

"Oh, yeah," Carl agreed. "Once you're in, you're in. There's nothing more important to men than loyalty."

Steve swallowed hard at that word. Suddenly, his mind wandered away from the men in front of him to another pair he was betraying. "You think?"

"Definitely. There's no more defining trait. You never turn your back on someone, unless they've really wronged you."

Steve tugged at his collar. "Right," he said.

"But I wouldn't worry much about that, Steve. You're the most loyal man I know," Carl said as he closed the grill and slipped his supplies under the sink. "So are we good? Ready to go back inside?"

"Sure," Steve said as he stood, his stomach churning for an entirely new reason. His mind began to wander as he followed the men back inside.

When they walked in, the women had already helped themselves to Hariette's cheesecake. Carl and Eddie served themselves as Steve sat next to Laura again.

Laura looked at the distance in his eyes and leaned into him. "Everything ok?"

Steve looked almost surprised to hear her speak. "Yeah. We're all good. We set up a new Guys' night, just the three of us," he explained.

"And you're ok with that? You look a little…" She pursed her lips as she tried to find the right word.

"I'm fine, Sweetheart," he promised, forcing a half smile.

She placed a hand on his thigh and let it go, realizing he wasn't going to talk about it in front of everybody else. She placed a bit of cake on her fork and moved it up to his mouth. He smiled at her gently and opened wide for her to feed him.

He moaned softly as she slipped the fork out and leaned up to taste his sugary lips. "Mmm…"


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't until they were on their way home that he finally opened up to explain himself.

"I'm really happy with what Carl, Eddie, and I worked out," he announced suddenly, breaking the silence only after building up a lot of courage to tell her what he needed to tell her.

Laura looked back at him and smiled. "Really? I'm glad. It didn't seem like it when you came back in."

Steve swallowed hard and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Yeah, well… Carl said something that I haven't been able to let go."

"Oh, God," Laura complained. "What'd he say now?"

"No, it's nothing bad," Steve promised. "He said that there's no more defining trait in a man than his loyalty and that I'm the most loyal man he knows."

Laura smiled softly. "Well, you are, Steve. You stick by anybody you care about, no matter how badly they treat you," she explained. She reached out and took his hand. "And as much as I'd like you to start standing up for yourself, I'm so glad you're so delusionally, self-sabotagingly, masochistically loyal because if you weren't, you never would've waited for me." She squeezed his hand gently.

Steve smiled softly. "I'm glad I'm a delusional masochist, too, Sugar Lips, but I'm actually not talkin' about you for once."

Laura chuckled. "Ok. Then what are we talking about?" she prompted, placing her other hand on top of theirs, still cupped together. She stroked the soft skin on the back of his hand.

"I don't think I can ditch Andy and Wes for Waterton," he said as he pulled his hand back for only a moment to make a left turn.

Laura pursed her lips. "Are you sure? You were so sure that it was the right move yesterday."

Steve nodded. "I know, but all day yesterday, I was thinking that it didn't matter how I acted. You were the only person who was ever going to accept me, but after talking to Carl and Eddie today… They never wanted me to act any differently than I normally do. I was projecting my own insecurities on them. They just wanted me to be myself. Sure, they hadn't intended to invite me, but it really was just because I wasn't a cop, not because I'm such a nerd. I don't need to be anybody but myself for anybody. Not for Carl and Eddie. Not for Wes and Andy. Not for you," he explained, squeezing her hand. "I am loyal, Laura Lee. Wes and Andy haven't done anything to deserve me going to work for the enemy. I don't leave people. Not for money."

Laura squeezed his hand back. "I never asked you to," she reminded him.

"I know," he agreed adamantly. "I know you didn't. It was me and my insecurities again. I thought I needed some extraordinary amount of money to keep you happy, but I don't. You're either going to want me for who I am or you won't. No amount of money's gonna change that. If it could, I woulda bought your love about a thousand gifts ago."

Laura laughed. "I don't need gifts, Steve, or tons of money. I think, someday, you're gonna stumble into a couple million dollars or so, but I don't need it."

Steve laughed and snorted. _Snort. Snort. Snort._ "If all you need is me, then you need me to stay where I am. You need me to stay the unquestioningly loyal man I've been for way too long."

Laura lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I was beginning to wonder if you were ever gonna figure it out."

"What?" he asked. "You wanted me to turn Waterton down?"

"Of course, I did, Steve. I wanted you to do what would make you happy, and I knew that abandoning Wes and Andy for their biggest competitor was going to hurt you more than any amount of money could fix. That's why I didn't want you tell them you were considering the offer in the first place. Now, you've got some work to do tomorrow to restore their trust in you."

Steve nodded. "It's not gonna be easy."

"You'll figure it out. Call Waterton, turn down the offer, and go in tomorrow ready to start fresh. They'll be as glad to do it as you are," she promised.

"If you're such a smarty pants, why didn't you just tell me all this a couple weeks ago instead of letting me lose sleep over it?"

"You had to make this decision yourself, my love," she insisted.

"You know this means we're gonna have to return all those clothes you bought yesterday," he reminded her gently.

"I never took the tags off," she smiled cockily.

"Sneaky, little vixen," he scolded as he turned into their parking garage.

She giggled and let go of his hand, placing one on his thigh. "Actually, I did take the tags off one thing," she whispered, looking at him flirtily.

Steve glanced back at her and half-smiled when he saw the look on her face. "What's that?" he asked as he pulled into their space.

"A surprise I bought for you while you were eating your _soft pretzel_," she purred, as if there were any way to make the words "soft pretzel" sexy.

It was sexy to him! "Golly," he breathed. "You didn't have to get me a surprise." He said modestly as he turned off the car.

"I told you I'd do whatever you wanted me to in bed once you'd made a decision. Go upstairs, and call Waterton. I'll meet you in our boudoir," she cooed, grabbing his hand and leading him toward the elevator.

"Ooooo," he giggled. "Boudoir."

She pressed her body against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm so proud of the man you're becoming," she said softly, suddenly quite serious.

Steve felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "Really?"

"Yes, really," she agreed, nodding her head firmly. "You have always been loyal, kind, loving, brilliant, and every wonderful thing that you are, but seeing you begin to cement those qualities has been an incredible privilege. It's so good to see us finally finding our way out of that confusing, finding-ourselves stage, into this wonderful, knowing-ourselves stage. It's even better that we get to do it together," she explained, finishing just as the elevator dinged and opened to their floor.

He offered her his arm and led her down the hall. "I couldn't agree more, my sweet," he replied. He took his keys out of his pocket, forcing him to release her, and unlocked the door. He held it for her before following her in.

Laura turned to him as she began to walk backward toward the bedroom. "Go call Waterton. I'll meet you in bed," she said. She paused in the doorway of their bedroom. "Whatever you want," she promised, "even that naughty, naughty thing Drake asked if we'd ever done."

Steve swallowed hard and his eyes widened.

"Or not. Whatever you want," she promised again, blowing him a kiss and closing the door behind her.

Steve looked down at the tent in his pants. He had never imagined he'd have such a raging hard-on when he finally gave Waterton an answer.

He took a deep breath and walked back into the office. He pulled out his address book and dialed his number. He hoped he wouldn't mind he was calling so late, or better yet, he hoped he was calling so late he could just leave a message on his answering machine.

"Hello?" Gary answered after only two rings.

"Hello, Mr. Waterton. This is-"

"Steve Urkel!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "How'd you know?"

Waterton rolled his eyes, but thankfully, Steve couldn't see that. "Steve, it's about time you called. I need an answer."

Steve cleared his throat. "Yeah, I-I know." He took a deep breath. "Mr. Waterton, I would like to thank you so much for reaching out to me. It was such an honor to see that my work is being recognized and valued elsewhere in the field, but-"

"But?" he repeated. "You're turning me down?" he scoffed.

"But I just can't leave Wes and Andy for their biggest competitor. They've been good to me. They don't deserve that."

"Oh, like they haven't poached some of my best people?!" he exclaimed.

Steve furrowed his brow. That didn't seem like something they would do.

"Harold Ford started in my labs, you know, and did they help him flourish? No. He's been a lab manager for almost a decade!"

Steve made a note to ask Harold about that. It seemed like information he would've mentioned while Steve was making this decision.

Waterton took a deep breath to calm himself. "C'mon, Urkel. Double your salary? I know they didn't offer you that much in a counter offer."

"It's not about the money, Mr. Waterton. It's about who I am. I can't just leave people who've been good to me."

"Fine," he barked. "What do I need to offer you then? Reimbursement for school? The right to patent in your name after a few years a product is on the market? Magazine interviews? A huge signing bonus? Relocation money for Boston? What do you need, Steve?"

Steve steeled his resolve in the face of Watertown's frustration. "I'm sorry, Mr. Waterton, but there's nothing you can tempt me with. This is about who I am as a man. I'm just too loyal to stray."

"What about that wife of yours, Steve? She must've wanted you to take the money."

"She didn't," Steve answered. "She wanted me to stay true to myself, and truly, I'm not the kind of man who leaves anyone."

"Sure, that's what she told you," Waterton scoffed. "Otherwise, she'd sound like a gold digging tramp."

Steve pursed his lips. He was making the right decision. "Have a good night, Mr. Waterton."

"Steve, wait! Don't hang-"

With that, Steve put the phone back in its cradle and finally exhaled. That was unpleasant, but it was done. He smiled softly to himself as he realized that after all that discomfort, he was going to get one heck of a reward. He did a little hop and a skip as he made his way to the door. He opened it slowly and stepped into their bedroom. He gasped as he saw her.

She was lying on the bed on the bed in a tiny, leopard-print teddy. The neckline plunged all the way down to her navel, barely containing her full breasts. It was clear that they'd both pop out with one wrong move. She was propped up on her elbow. Her hair was just the right amount of messy as a few inches of it covered her hand which was holding up her head. The tight, spotted fabric emphasized every curve, and in this position, he couldn't even see the best part yet.

"Humina, humina, humina," he stuttered.

Laura giggled and sat up. "You like?"

He nodded rapidly, panting like a dog and pounding his foot on the ground excitedly as if someone were scratching just the right spot behind his ears. He finished the display with a howl.

She smiled brighter. "Is it done? Did you call Waterton?"

He nodded without saying anything.

"Good," she replied. She patted the bed beside her. "Come sit by me, Baby. Lemme work all that tension out of your shoulders… and out of every other part of your body."

He felt a shiver travel up his spine. He walked over to her as confidently as he could and sat beside her.

She got on her knees behind him and started to massage his shoulders. "Oh, you are tense," she pouted before nibbling his ear. "How'd the call go?" She asked seriously.

Steve could tell she really wanted an answer this time, so he tried hard to focus less on her soft tongue in his ear and more on her question. "It was fine. He begged and bargained and threatened a little, but it's done."

"You should be so proud of yourself. You're only 21, and you already have companies fighting for the privilege of paying your salary."

Steve sat up a little straighter. She had a point. He'd been so caught up in the stress of all this that he'd forgotten to sit back and enjoy it. "Yeah, I guess I am proud."

Laura blew gently in his ear, and he shivered. She continued to knead the taut flesh of his back. "You should be," she whispered. She pulled his earlobe between her lips and began to suck on it.

"Oh, I am," he promised, reaching back to stroke her hair.

Laura pulled away from him and lay back on the bed. She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "So… I promised you anything you want tonight. What do you want, Baby?"

He smiled at her flirtatiously and lay beside her on the bed. "I just want you," he purred, reaching back and grabbing a handful of her full booty. He was surprised to feel her skin. "Uhh… Laura, there's a hole in your brand new teddy."

Laura laughed. "It's s'posed to be there. It gives my man easy access to my perfect booty," she teased, reaching back to squeeze his hand more firmly into her soft cheeks.

Steve blushed, thinking back to what Drake had said a few days ago. "W-well," he stammered, "I do love your big booty."

Laura smiled at him softly. She loved making him nervous. She raised her hands to the straps on her shoulders and tugged them over to reveal her breasts. She placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled his face into her chest. "Let's start here," she suggested.

He happily buried his face deeper into her cleavage, pressing her breasts against either side of his face and kissing her again and again. He was relieved to be back doing something he was certain they were both comfortable with. He pushed her back in the bed and climbed between her legs, never removing his lips from her breasts. He took a nipple into his mouth.

"Oh, Steve," she cooed.

"Mmmm…" he moaned in response, staring up at her face, past her breast, in desire.

Laura smiled down at him. He looked so happy and so comfortable with her. She tickled the back of his neck, and she watched him try to suppress a sweet, innocent giggle. "I love you," she whispered.

Steve smiled and pulled a way just long enough to reply, "I love you, too." With that, he began to kiss his way down her body, pulling her teddy down with him. When he reached her womanhood, he pulled the lingerie down her shapely legs and over her feet. Then he tossed it to the ground and pushed her thick thighs apart. He began to kiss her inner thighs, slowly making his way closer and closer to her most private spot. Finally, just as she was beginning to grow impatient, he slipped his tongue between her intimate folds. He smiled again as he heard her inhale sharply as he pleasured her.

Steve stayed below her waist, pleasuring her immensely with his tongue and fingers, until he finally heard the most spectacular sound in the world.

"Ohhh," she exhaled as she orgasmed. She pushed him away, and her muscles relaxed into the bed. "Oh, Honey… Thank you," she said softly, her voice shaking slightly.

He smiled and kissed his way up her body, leaving a trail of his saliva and her juices everywhere his full lips touched. Finally, he kissed her lips. "You're welcome. Thank you for letting me do that. You know how I love it."

Laura smiled up at him and wiped his shining face with her thumb. "I'm so lucky to have a man who loves kissin' on me the way you do."

Steve smiled proudly, and then he had a thought. His face grew serious. He leaned into her neck and kissed it gently for a few moments as he contemplated his options. Then he leaned up to her ear. "Turn over," he whispered.

Laura's brow furrowed. "Why? I haven't even gone down on you, yet?"

Steve smiled softly. "Just turn over, my sweet."

Laura looked at him for another long moment, and then she did as she was told. She wasn't sure why, but she felt a little nervous as she felt his body come over her. Still, nothing happened. She felt his weight on top of her. Then she felt his lips on the back and sides of her neck and his hands trailing up and down her sides. She felt his hands over her back as he began to unbutton his dress shirt. She felt his bare skin against hers once his shirt was on the ground beside her teddy. She heard his hands fumble with his belt just before she felt the skin of his bare member pressed firmly between her cheeks.

When he was completely naked, he kissed up to her ear and whispered to her softly, "I wanna try something tonight."

Laura swallowed hard. "What is it?" she replied softly.

Steve frowned as his hand drifted down to the flesh of her butt and squeezed. "You know I don't like to say," he complained.

"Honey, you can tell me anything," she said, lifting her head and turning back to him slightly. "You know that."

Steve looked away from her. "I don't wanna say," he whined.

"Ok," she exhaled, turning back and laying her head down.

"Ok?" he asked.

"Ok," she said again. "I trust you, Steve. I know you'll stop if I tell you to stop. We can try it. Whatever it is."

Steve smiled and began to kiss her neck again. "I love you," he purred.

"I love you, too," she replied, giggling softly as he began to kiss down her sensitive spine.

His hands moved quickly to her butt. Each hand grabbed one full cheek and squeezed as he kissed the small of her back. Then he kissed lower, his lips covering every inch of her big butt in kisses.

Laura laughed as she relaxed. "Having fun down there?" she asked.

"Yes," he moaned back immediately.

Laura wiggled her hips slightly, rubbing her clit against the bedspread as he ravaged her butt cheeks. "I'm so glad," she purred.

Eventually, when he was feeling brave, his tongue made its way to the small of her back. He moved to the center and lowered it slightly, reaching the top of her butt crack. He slipped his tongue between her cheeks and just licked her gently, still nowhere near where he wanted to be.

Laura inhaled sharply. This was what she'd been expecting. This seemed to be what the guys had talked about at the poker game. She'd seen him staring at her butt a little more than usual. He was grabbing it more. They'd done it only from behind since Saturday night. She had known it was coming, but she had hoped he would talk about it with her first. She'd hoped that she'd know with a little more certainty what to expect. She at least needed to know if she was waiting on his fingers, his tongue, or his member. "Stop!" she said suddenly.

Steve pulled away from her immediately and sat up on the bed. He lifted his hands into the air, keeping them where she could see them.

Laura sat up and looked at him. He looked like he was feeling so guilty. She reached out and grabbed his hands, pulling them down to hold them. "It's ok, Baby. I liked that. I wanna do more. I just need to talk about it a little first."

Steve shifted nervously and looked away from her.

She moved closer to him. "I just need to know what's coming. You can't just shove a finger in there like you do… other parts of me. That's not how it works."

Steve swallowed hard and stared at the bed.

"Do you wanna have anal sex with me?" she asked gently.

Steve's eyes widened, and he gasped loudly. "LAURA!"

Laura barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "What, Steve? I'm just asking."

"No! I don't wanna do that!" he cried.

Laura glared at him. "Well, you don't have to say it like that."

Steve paused. She was more offended by him not wanting to do that than by the idea that he may want to do something that risqué? "Do you wanna… do… that?"

Laura hesitated. "I don't know, honestly. Isn't that a thing guys like more than girls?"

Steve pouted slightly. "I don't know! How should I know? I've never done it!"

Laura chuckled and looked away from him. "I wish I'd saved all those _Cosmo'_s I read over the years. I usually skipped those articles because I was a virgin. Anal sex was the last thing on my mind."

Steve looked away too. "I'm sorry, Laura. I didn't mean to make things weird. Let's just make love."

"No," Laura said firmly, "I don't ever wanna just make love. I want making love to me to be the thing you wanna do!"

Steve looked back at her. "I do want to!" he said urgently.

"I know, but you wanted to try something, and I want to acknowledge that. I don't just wanna settle for something we always do. Steve, if you weren't planning on having anal sex tonight, what were you planning on doing?"

Steve looked away again. "Laura, I can't say it. I just… can't," he whined.

"Do you want me to start guessing? Because I don't think you'll like that either," she warned.

Steve took a deep breath and exhaled. "The guys at the poker game… were talking about… what you said, and when you asked me if the thing we'd never done was something I wanted to do, it got me thinking. I know I'm not ready for _that_, but I just thought… Tonight, I could just… kiss you a little before we made love."

"Kiss my butt?" she asked bluntly.

"Laura," Steve whined.

"You mean you wanted to eat my ass?" she clarified.

"LAURA!" he scolded.

Laura took a deep breath and sighed. She placed a hand on his back and rubbed it gently. "We can try that, Steve, if that's all you were trying to do. I was just afraid you were going to try something that… would require a lot of lube that you would completely forget to use," she laughed nervously.

He felt his cheeks flush. "I just wanted another way to make you feel good."

Laura smiled softly and grabbed his chin, turning his head to look at her. "Oh, yeah? It was all about pleasuring me? None of it was for you?" she challenged with a sly smile.

"W-well, I… I also wanted another way to… get lost in your perfect body."

Laura's smile grew wider and flirtier. "Oh, good answer," she whispered, turning around on all fours. "Baby, will you please eat my booty?" she cooed, wiggling it at him.

Steve licked his lips and got on his knees behind her. "Yes, dear," he purred before he dove right back in.

"Oh, MY GOD! That feels weird!" she exclaimed as she felt his tongue at her backdoor.

Steve pulled back slightly. "Good weird?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know yet," she admitted with a nervous giggle. "Keep going." She wiggled her butt as she moved back toward him.

He grinned and began to kiss all over her cheeks. He moved more slowly this time, making his way back between her cheeks with his moist, soft tongue only when he was sure she had relaxed again. His tongue met her hole, and he felt her tense. He kissed her softly. "No, no, no, my pet," he whispered. "Relax. Just trust me." He heard her take a deep calming breath and exhale. He did the same. He kissed her several more times before his tongue came back out. He began to lick at her softly.

"Ooo," she whimpered softly.

"Mmmmmmm…" he moaned back loudly in encouragement. He pressed her full cheeks around his face, burying himself in one of his favorite parts of her body. This was the butt he used to stare at whenever he had the opportunity. This was the booty he had gawked at whenever she dropped a pencil, stretched before cheerleading practice, or wore a short skirt or a tight pair of shorts, which was pretty much all summer. This was the booty he had desperately wanted to pinch whenever they went bowling and grind against whenever she danced, and now it was his. It was his to touch and pinch and squeeze and smack. Now it was his to kiss and lick. It was his and hers and no one else's. He had caught dozens of men with their eyes glued to her full, meaty tushie. He had snapped at more than a few cads talking about it in the locker room in high school when Eddie wasn't around. This part of her was admired and desired when she was younger and now. It was still the part of her that caught a man's attention whenever Steve held her hand and walked her down the street, but she'd never let anybody else do this. This was something that only Steve would ever be allowed to do. It was something she trusted only him to do, so he had to do it right.

"Ok. Wow," she breathed. "This feels kinda ok. Still weird, but wow." She was starting to pant. She swallowed hard. "Do you… Um… Do you like it or…?"

Steve smiled against her pliable skin. He chuckled softly against her. Did he like it? He moved his fingers down to her vaginal entrance and slipped them inside her in a forward, quick motion.

"Oh, GOD!" she yelled in surprise.

He began to move his fingers in and out. He pulled back slightly as she did. "Do I like it?" he growled. "Gimme that big booty, Pumpkin Butt."

She giggled and moaned. "You are so weird," she laughed. "You are so weird and soooo sexy when you talk to me like that."

"Like what?" he questioned.

"Like you," she moaned.

He smiled and leaned back into her butt, beginning to pleasure her most newly available area. "Mmmmmm…" he moaned as he worked tongue around the edges of the hole.

"Ooooo…" Laura whined. "Move your fingers faster, Baby."

Steve readily complied, rubbing her G-spot more intensely.

"That's it," she agreed, biting her lip.

His hand made a loud, jarring sound as he slapped her butt cheek.

"Oo!" She jumped slightly before relaxing back into her position. She could hear his muffled giggling over the sounds of his gentle slurping. She smiled to herself. Then he did it again. "Ah! Steeeve!" she complained.

"You like it," he mumbled. "You know you do."

"Ohhhhh," she moaned. She jumped when he spanked her again and leaned her head closer to the mattress. "Finger me faster," she begged. When he adjusted, she moaned, "Yesssss. Don't stop. Please don't stop."

He certainly wasn't thinking about stopping.

"Ohhhh, Baby. Spank me again. Please, Baby. I need you to spank me again and again until I come," she whined, moving in rhythm with him.

"Bad girl," he growled as he spanked her again. "Bad, bad girl," he mumbled against her smooth skin, drooling all over her.

She grunted with every impact of his hand and wiggle of his tongue. Then she screamed as she went over the edge because that was the moment he chose to thrust his tongue forward, into her previously untouched hole. "Oh, GOOOOD!" she cried as she shook and trembled, collapsing into the bed.

He pulled away from her as she finished. He stared at her, sprawled across the bed, panting like an exhausted animal. He reached up and wiped his lips clean. "Well, Drake's certainly never gonna get the chance to see you like this," he chuckled, laying back on his back beside her.

Laura turned her head to meet his eyes. She rested her head on her arms. "That guy was such a jerk," Laura began with a sly smile, "but if he inspired you to try that, then I'm kinda glad we met him."

Steve grinned. "You liked it?"

"I did," she grinned back. "It's nice to do something different. I don't wanna do it every night or anything, but I wanna do it again… if you do."

"Whenever your little heinie is ready, my love."

Laura nodded and laid their silently for a moment. Then she rolled over. "Get on top of me," she ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am," he agreed, rolling back between her legs. He immediately lined himself up with her entrance.

"Take me, Steve," she whispered desperately just before he thrust hard and deep into her folds. "Ohhhh," she purred.

He smiled down at her as he pushed in deeper. "You're so beautiful," he purred, staring at her breasts which he could finally see again, "and you feel so good."

"Mmmm… So do you."

He moved his member in deeper and out further. He groaned loudly as he slid in again. "Ohhhhhh…"

Laura stared deeply into his loving eyes. She felt so connected to him as they fell back into their usual rhythm. She smiled softly to herself as she realized that she and Steve had a usual rhythm for this. They weren't just a couple of kids exploring each other's bodies anymore. They were husband and wife. When they were done experimenting, there was something familiar to come back to. There was something that had become a habit in their lives, and that made her feel so proud. She was proud of him for learning to be comfortable. She was proud of herself for learning how to love him right. She was proud of them for making it work, despite how easy that may have seemed right now. As she felt him coming inside of her, she knew they had many years of hard, rewarding work ahead of them to ensure that their marriage stayed this strong, but as he buried his face in her neck and held her close, she knew they could handle whatever life threw at them.

The next morning, the alarm went off far too early. Steve groaned loudly and slapped his hand against the snooze button. Then he turned back to Laura and spooned her again, pulling her tightly against his body.

She reached a hand back and gently stroked his cheek. "We have to get up, Baby," she said gently.

"No, we don't," he complained. "I just wanna stay in bed with my naked supermodel wife all day."

Laura chuckled and sat up, pulling away from him. "I want that too, Steve, but it's Monday. We've gotta get moving."

"I hate Mondays," he grumbled as he stood up, revealing his very obvious erection to his wife.

"Ok, Garfield. Go get in the shower," she laughed.

He grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the bathroom. "Not alone!"

"Steve!" she laughed. "We don't have time."

Steve leaned in and turned on the shower before pulling her naked body flat against him again. "I will always have time for you," he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Fifteen minutes later than usual, Steve was running toward the door, struggling to tie his tie.

"Baby, wait!" Laura ordered, grabbing his tie and choking him slightly as he tried to keep moving.

He stopped and looked at her in awe as she tied his tie with ease. "You're amazing," he gasped.

Laura laughed and leaned into his neck as she finished the knot. She got on her tiptoes and kissed him sweetly. "So are you. Now, go tell Wes and Andy the good news!" she said, straightening his lapels.

Steve nodded and kissed her back. "I love you, Pumpkin. I'll see you tonight," he said as he grabbed his briefcase and lunch.

"I love you, too! Good luck, Steve!" she called as he closed the door gently behind him.

Steve got to work exactly on time, which actually meant he was a little late. He had hoped to get there early enough to talk to Wes and Andy first thing, but he knew Harold would kill him if he missed valuable lab time to talk to the suits.

Steve made his way to the lab and immediately got to work, losing himself in science. He was so lost, he didn't even hear Harold waddle up behind him.

"Urkel!" he barked. "Watch those chemicals! You know they're both flammable."

"Yes, Sir," Steve nodded. While he didn't appreciate the tone or the implication that he didn't know the chemicals were dangerous, he realized that Harold was right. They were way too close to an open flame. He moved the chemicals and continued to write in his notebook. Then he noticed Harold had continued to stare at him. "Is there anything else, Dr. Ford?"

"Did you talk to Waterton yet?"

"Yes, I did," Steve said. "I've decided not to take the position."

Harold nodded sharply. "Good. I think that's for the best."

"Yeah, well, since you were so unhappy there, I figured it probably wouldn't be a great fit for me either," he replied, raising an eyebrow at him.

Harold pursed his lips.

"It's weird that you didn't mention you'd worked for him before, Dr. Ford," Steve said seriously. "That could've helped my decision."

Harold nodded. "You needed to make that decision for yourself, Urkel. Every scientist has to pick between financial gain and the pursuit of truth over and over and over again. I'm not here to define your morals for you. I'm just here to guide your scientific mind in the right direction and to make sure we make enough money for the suits to keep the doors open so we can keep doing what we do."

"Really?" Steve asked. "That's how you see yourself? I thought you've always had eyes on a promotion."

"I do! I'd love to be able to be that same guiding force for the whole company, but always in the name of science, Steve!" he explained, passion lighting up his eyes for the first time since Steve had met him. "Just because you step out of the lab doesn't mean you have to turn your back on Lady Science, but Waterton has. You made the right decision."

"Thank you, Harold," Steve said seriously. He paused for a moment. "Waterton said ForWard poached you, but if it wasn't for money, what did they offer you?"

"They actually offered me less money. I took a pay cut to work for them, but they offered me the chance to work for a company that cared about the ethical implications of every scientific endeavor. Mr. Forman and Mr. Ward may be businessmen in their heads, but they're scientists at heart. All they want is to discover how they can make the world a better place and hope it makes them a few million bucks along the way. That's the kind of men I want to work for, even if they never let me work alongside them."

Steve smiled softly. "I couldn't agree more, my friend."

Harold nodded. "Anyway, get back to work," he grumbled before turning sharply on his heel and stomping back toward his office.

Steve didn't notice when Wes and Andy walked in about an hour later either.

"Steve!" Wes boomed from less than a foot away from him, irritated that he hadn't noticed his presence.

Steve looked up, jumped, and yelped as he threw a beaker into the air. Luckily, it was empty, and Wes managed to catch it on the way down.

He set it back on the counter and glared at Steve. "Steve, today's the day you're supposed to answer Waterton. Don't tell me you're gonna tell him first. I thought we were close."

Steve frowned and turned off the Bunsen burner in front of him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you yet, Wes. I talked to Waterton last night because I wanted to make sure everything was settled before I talked to you and Mr. Ward again."

Wes swallowed hard. "I understand."

Andy just glared, waiting for the news.

"I've decided to stay with ForWard, assuming you'll still have me," Steve explained meekly.

Wes leapt into the air. "Yahoo!" he exclaimed as he pulled Steve in for a tight, bear hug.

Steve hugged him back, glad that Wes seemed more than ready to just move on from this mess.

"I knew it!" he laughed in relief. "I knew you wouldn't leave!" He pulled away from him and held onto his shoulders. "You've told him? It's officially over?" he confirmed again.

"Yes, Wes," Steve assured him, "and I'm sorry I put you both through all this."

"That's ok, Steve," Wes said sincerely. "We're just glad you made the right decision."

Steve looked back at Andy. "I really am sorry, Mr. Ward. It won't happen again."

Andy took a deep breath and exhaled. "You can call me Andy again," he grumped as he turned quickly and walked out the door.

Wes watched him walk out. Then he turned back to Steve. "Ok. You gotta tell me. Was it the extra vaca time or Andy's bad cop act?" he asked excitedly.

Steve smiled nervously. "You don't really have to give me a new deal."

"Oh, you're getting more time off, Kid. Non-negotiable," he said firmly. "So that really wasn't it? He really scared you out of it?" he asked uncomfortably. "Steve, I know he used a lot of legal jargon, but I never want you to feel trapped here."

Steve shook his head urgently. "Oh, no! Wes, no! It wasn't that! It was something my father-in-law said actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He reminded how important loyalty is, and he reminded me that that's one of my best traits. I don't leave people, Wes. If anything, I hang on _way _too long," he said with a gesture of his hand for emphasis.

Wes chuckled. "Well, way to go, Dad-in-law!" he chirped. "I'm glad you're staying for the right reasons," he said seriously.

"Me too," Steve nodded.

Wes looked at him for a long moment and then patted his back. "All right, Buddy. Either you need to take some of that vacation time now, or you've gotta get back to work, you slacker!" he grinned as he headed out of the room. He heard Steve laugh and snort as he exited the sliding doors.

When Steve got home that evening, he came with a bouquet of various flowers tucked under his arm. He slipped in the door, set his briefcase down, and glanced around for Laura. She was nowhere in sight, so he tiptoed into their bedroom. He saw the light on in the closet and sat at the edge of their bed to wait for her.

When Laura stepped out, she was wearing short shorts and a tank top without a bra. It had been a long day. She smiled at him flirtatiously when she saw him. "Steve Urkel, you are insatiable," she purred, leaning down to kiss him hello.

"I am?" He questioned as she pulled away.

She took the flowers from him and set them on the dresser behind him before she climbed into his lap. "Yes," she confirmed. "After all the new things we tried yesterday," she whispered leaning in to kiss his neck, "you can't even wait 'til bedtime to make love to me?"

He threw her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. "What makes you think I can't wait?" he purred.

Laura began to unbutton his shirt. "The flowers, the waiting for me on the bed, that look in your eye," she listed.

Steve smiled softly at her and kissed her forehead before he stood up. "Actually, my dear, that wasn't the plan at all."

Laura sat up. "It wasn't?" _Damn._ She was into it. Maybe that was _her_ plan.

"Nope. These are just Monday flowers," he explained, handing them to her again.

She chuckled and stood to join him. "Monday flowers? What are Monday flowers?"

"Monday flowers are flowers I give you on some random day of the week-"

"So I can get Monday flowers on a Wednesday?" she confirmed.

"Uh-huh," he chuckled, pulling her closer. "They're flowers I give you on some random day of the week just to tell you that I'm happy, and you're why."

"I'm not the only reason why!" she corrected, hating that he was trying to give her all the credit for all the good feelings he'd worked for in life. "You have a good job! You have good friends! We're going back to school soon, and you're such a big nerd!"

Steve laughed and snorted. "No, I know, Sweetums. That's what I'm saying. Everything in my life is going right right now: my love life, my work life, my family life, my school life. My whole life is exactly what I wanted it to be at this age, but you're the reason why. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have you, first of all. That would be the greatest tragedy. By far!" he exclaimed as she laughed. "But I also wouldn't have the job I do if I hadn't been killing myself trying to find a way to provide for you. I wouldn't have the family life I do if your family wasn't being pushed to include me in new ways because I'm finally, legally their problem. You have made my life what it is, and I want you to know how happy I am. I'm no longer "happy _if_" or "happy _when_". I'm _just_ happy. My default state is happy, and that's because of you. Laura, if this is what happy feels like on a daily basis, I've never been happy. You changed my life." He paused for a long moment. "So… Monday flowers."

Laura's bright, lighthearted smile disappeared. She reached a hand out to cup his cheek. "I have never thought for a second of my life that my purpose in life was to make a man happy-"

"Oh, no!" he exclaimed in terror. "No, my pet! No, no, no! That's not what I meant! I swear!"

"No, Steve. I know that's not what you meant. Lemme finish." She cupped his cheek again after her hand had been jostled away by the rapid shaking of his head. "I've never believed that that was my purpose… until this very moment."

Steve went to argue again, but she placed a finger to his lips to stop him.

"I know that I'm here to do a lot more than that. I'm here to become an incredible lawyer and put bad guys away. I know that. I'm here to be a good daughter and sister and friend and, someday, mother, and I've known for a long time that I'm here to love you, Steve, but I never realized before today that I'm here to make you happy. I never realized that I'm the only thing that can do that for you. You are meant to do so much in this life, Steve, and I'm going to make sure that you are happy enough to accomplish everything you're meant to."

Steve paused for a moment. "That's not your job," he insisted.

"No," she agreed, "it's an honor."

His look of concern grew into a warm, embarrassed grin. "Thank you for loving me, Laura Lee," he whispered.

She cocked her head at him and leaned in to press her head into his chest as she embraced him. "Thank you for letting me."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the end of this episode. I hope you enjoyed it, even though it got a little graphic at some points. Maybe moreso than my other stories! (Maybe that's why you enjoyed it!) I look forward to publishing the next one, and I promise it's partly written, but I don't think I like the chapter by chapter format. I'm going to stick with lengthy one-shots for Season X. I'll still be continuing my other current story, "If I Don't Have You" on a chapter by chapter basis, but that next installment is a little further away. Thanks for all the ratings and reviews. Reviews are always a good reminder for me that I need to get on it and publish something. I also always check back to see if someone has just found an older story. That's always a fun review. Thanks for writing to me and reading. You all rock.**


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